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A Smile That’s Worth 1000 Words And More

I sat in the middle of a year’s worth of our lives scattered across the basement floor. I carefully studied each moment captured on film searching for that one perfect picture that would exude the feel of my new blog, All Work And No Play Makes Mommy Go Something Something.

“I know which picture you should use”, came from the strong voice in the doorway. Shawn walked in and took a spot next to me on the floor and began leafing through the stacks of pictures.

“Here. This one.”

I immediately smiled. 

I remember that day. Over breakfast I told Shawn that I had desperately craved escape from life and that I just wanted to get in the car and drive. “Where to?” he surprisingly said, and in a short few hours, we had packed a few days worth of clothing and drove up to the cottage.

We left our problems far behind.

On our way there, we passed a small park that was mostly vacant except for the seagulls and the whimsicle cement characters that decorated the lawn. I remember telling Shawn to turn around so that we could stop there. When I stepped out of the car, I was greeted by a chill in the early June air as the wind blew over Lake Huron.  The sun shone brightly and warmed my cheeks. 

The park itself wasn’t very big. There were a few swings rusted with age and years of use, two slides, and in the middle of the park there was this bouncy teeter-totter contraption that I couldn’t resist. I remember taking a seat with Chunky, Shawn on the other end, and we bounced. For some reason, it was the funnest thing I had done in a long time.

 “This is a pretty fun picture eh?”

“This is my favourite picture that I’ve ever taken of you. It was the first time in the 8 months after you were diagnosed with postpartum depression that you smiled.”

“No it wasn’t. I’ve smiled in tons of pictures.”

“No. No. This picture was the first time that you smiled from your soul. This was the first time that I saw my wife and my best friend shine through all the tears and pain and facades the illness created. This was the first time that I felt confident that you were going to survive and that we were going to make it.”

I sat there speechless clutching the photo as tears welled in Shawn’s eyes.

“This is the one.”

And I couldn’t have agreed more.

Every time I look at that picture, I’m reminded of how far I have come in this battle with postpartum depression. It reminds me that there are women out there at this exact moment who are walking in the very same shoes I once wore.

They are looking for the answers, for help, but mostly for hope.

And my hope is that this picture inspires at least one woman to have the courage to ask for help because this illness, this monster postpartum depression can be defeated.

And that the photo instills hope in her heart that she will find herself again.

Mama's Losin' It

*Prompt: I’m inspired by…(photo journal entry)

A special thanks goes to Stephanie at Genie Girl Graphics for making my hub of the Blogsphere all pretty.


  1. Monica Monica

    I am with Shawn I absolutely love this picture. I haven’t met you, only through blog land and I can definately see how happy you are right here! You are an amazing woman 🙂

  2. I love that picture too, and I am so happy Shawn captured that smile in that moment so you can always remember that it is in there. Even on the worst days.

  3. That IS a pretty fantastic picture, but more importantly, your husband said that to you? For real? What a guy! That is so amazingly supportive and loving and romantic.

  4. oh my, i think this is a fabulous story.

    what an amazing husband you have.

    and i’m so thankful that you have gotten through your darkest hours.

    blessings to you<3

  5. What a wonderful post. mama you gave me goose bumps. Thank you for being so honest and inspiring.

  6. Wow. This brought tears to my eyes. As a new mom who doesn’t have PPD, I can’t imagine how difficult that must be. It’s hard enough without it! I’m glad that you’re pulling through and what a great picture!

  7. That is a great picture and your smile is wonderful. You look truly happy. Good job husband for finding that picture.

  8. such sweet memories! you have come so far. what a lovely reminder!

  9. you definitely need to check out my blog today. 🙂

  10. Kelly Kelly

    Your husband just made me tear up at work. That was so sweet. What a guy! You are a lucky girl…

  11. That’s the image I have of you when I read your blog — smiling, happy and holding your little boy. 🙂

  12. What a beautiful story! I love this picture, love it, and so happy that you emerged from the sadness.

  13. Great picture. Beautiful memory. You and your family should be so proud of how far you’ve come and how hard you’ve had to fight to smile like that.

  14. Great post.

    I love that picture.

  15. that is beautiful. not just your smile, but the hope. so glad i came to read on the linkup!

  16. It’s awesome you have that moment captured in a picture… Great, heartfelt post!

  17. I hope you will have many more of those great moments when you feel nothing but joy and no stress!

  18. OK, so I want to write some heartfelt comment but it’s still early here and I’ve only had a couple sips of my coffee. So, I’ll just say this: I’m so proud of you.

  19. Reading this made me cry. Beautiful post.

  20. I’ve always liked that picture up there on your header, but the story behind it? Tears in my eyes…

  21. This is very moving. I can’t help but look back at who I once was vs. who I am today and I cringe at the thought that there are so many woman out there at ground zero. You give them hope even when they feel it’s lost.

  22. That is a beautiful picture and a beautiful smile!

  23. MommaKiss MommaKiss

    well color me schmoopie over here. that is gorgeous – the picture and that he loves you so

  24. Ummm…..pretty much LOVE what Shawn said to you. What a fabulous hubby. And, he’s right, it’s a really great picture! 🙂

  25. Good lord, lady! Now I’m all weepy at my desk! Thank God the kids are gone!

    ((hugs)) to you! Look how far you’ve come! It sucks sometimes but there are those moments of clarity where you just know in the depths of your soul it’s going to be okay.

  26. that is the best picture!! I smile every time I see it…I super duper love those special moments ~especially when caught on camera.

  27. Okay, you’re really going to need to stop making my cry at some point! This is post number two that you’ve shared on Fledgling Fridays that has made me well up recently. Have mercy!

    In all seriousness, this is a beautiful story. Your husband is an amazing guy.

  28. Wow! Your husband has a whole lot of love for you! How sweet!

  29. Sounds like a supportive guy. Always great to see that.

    Glad to meet you (both?) 🙂

    (Visiting from Fledgling Friday)

  30. Oh, I love this! That is one of the most joyous, expressive pictures I have ever seen 🙂 And I love your story, too. Holding on to hope 🙂

  31. Leighann Leighann

    This brought me to tears.
    Maybe because I know the pain of PPD
    or because Brian said similar words to me after I finally visited the dr and increased my meds.
    I love this post

  32. I smiled just looking at this picture!

    I have major depressive disorder, so I was medicated throughout my pregnancy & postpartum. I really believe it helped “prevent” PPD. Thank you for being open about your PPD. The stigma needs to be removed and it won’t happen until more women (and their partners) are open about this. I hope someone reading this has the courage to reach out.

    (found you through Sunday Funday)

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