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Tales From The Plaid Couch

“So how are we?” he says as he leans back in his leather chair.


Awkward silence.

I recognize this is the part where I need to elaborate.

“People are driving super slow. It’s like they’re moving through mud. Sooo-faaaa- king slow. It’s irritating me.”

“Ah yes. You feel very charged up like people are moving slow and you’re moving fast.”


Awkward silence.


His eyebrows raise.

“Oh. I should keep talking. Well, I think I’m feeling better.”

“Good. Good. That’s fantastic. You look much better than last week. We had a bit of a scare didn’t we?”

“Just a little. Everyone says I’m looking much better too and even Shawn mentioned that I have been acting a lot better too.”

“Good. Good.”

“And the thoughts are still fast but they’re not super distracting.”


This is the part where I stare deeply into his eyes hoping that I could change his mind when I ask:

“I’m still bipolar 2?”

“Yup” he says with utmost certainty.

“Really? Like how sure are we?”

“Very sure.”

“That sucks.”

“Well, look at it this way, we know why your postpartum depression was so hard to control. You were up and down and up and down and never really on an even keel. So now we are certain what works and we can go from there.”

Side eye.

“It still sucks. It’s so forever.”

“Forever sounds so long.”

Side eye.

“We’re going to work at levelling you out so that you’re moods are stable.”

“Yea, my moods flip on and off very quickly. I hate the agitation. What can I do for that?”

“Just realize that this is a state and it will pass.”

Boring stuff about medication dosage changes

“How about I see you next week?”

Next week…high-five myself in my brain because I’m tired of doctor appointments…and he trusts me for the rest of the week…boom

“Sure” I say excitedly

“Oh and say hi to your Chunky Monkey for me. This is the first appointment you’ve come solo in the last few weeks.”

Also another high-five in my brain…that means my husband trusts me too.

“Chunky actually wanted to come. When I told him I was coming to see you, he grabbed his tote bag and said “I come too.” He cracks me up.”

“He’s a good kid”


My boy and my husband are the reason why I fight.

We’ll get there guys…Thank you for loving me.

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  1. Amy Amy

    WAHOO!!! Good job Kim!! Keep going!!


  2. I’d wish you more highs but it sounds as if I need to wish you more “mediums”!


  3. You will get there Kim! Once again the use of sofa-king…love it!


  4. So beautifully honest and brave, Kimberly.
    High fives to you for taking care of yourself.
    You all deserve that.


  5. I love you too. You are so very brave, and yep, those little suckers known as our spouse and kids have a way of not letting us crawl into a nice warm nest and drift away.





  6. You will get there Kim. Chunky and hubby got your back :)))


  7. You will get there and everyone will be behind you supporting you.


  8. Beth Horn Beth Horn

    I love your blog… hang in there… you give me hope and help me realize that I too one day may get to being ‘stable’ and feeling ‘normal’. My doctor treats me for depression and anxiety… but both my husband and I feel that I’m obviously bi-polar. So up and so down in no time… I can be so flaming mad at him and hang up on him over and over and then 20 minutes later he calls me back (he’s in jail right now) and I’m all lovey dovey. I use the excuse that I get over things easily… but truly feel it’s that I’m unstable and also the fact that I have really bad memory lol.

    Hang in there sweetie, I love reading positive posts of yours and empathize with you when you’re hurting.



  9. yes ma’am. you will get there. big hugs and another high five from me.


  10. Kir Kir

    wow, girlfriend, you are the strongest woman I know.

    Keep fighting, keep high fiving, I for one have got your back.

    love you, don’t forget that…that you’re so loved.


  11. You will get feeling better. My daughter feels the same way about her bipolar. I’m always explaining to her that her medication is like me needing insulin for my disease.

    Just know, that even if you have bad days, whenever I’m on your site you are bringing sunshine into mine.


  12. Girl. I’m so proud of you! Fight the fight so you can be there for your husband and child! Getting help is the most important part and you are doing that! You. Will. Get There!


  13. I’m givnig you 10 gold stars. Just reading this and the wods from the dr. made the memories of my therapy flood back. Therapy never agreed with me. You are strong mama! You’re a fighter and I admire you.
    Good stuff.


  14. I’m glad you fight. I’m glad you have the bravery and strength to write this and share this. You are much stronger than you think you are. I’m so glad you are getting the help you need to win your fight.


  15. You are so strong. I feel like you’re much stronger than me right now. Can I borrow some of your strength aura?

    BTW, I read your blog like dessert.


  16. Yep, it is forever. And it does suck. Sucks so bad. But there’s good in knowing. There is good in an answer. Finally. After knowing something is very wrong with you but never really knowing what exactly is off.

    Now you know. And now the battle begins. I wish I could tell you that it ends. But it’s a lifetime battle. Some days are easy. Some are so very difficult. But at least I can tell you having come through this disorder time and time again . . . the fight is worth it.

    Don’t surrender.


  17. Keep up the good fight! You’ll get where you want to be…One day at a time.


  18. lex lex

    Whoot! way to go baby! massive hugs and encouragement coming your way. Love ya Kim, you can do this! xoxoxo


  19. You’ll get there and we’re all behind you supporting you along the way!


  20. I admire you. I am proud of you.
    If I, who barely know you through online only, feels this way about you, I can only imagine what those who are close to you in real life feel.


  21. Yall are damn cute. You’re doing it mama. Keep Chuck Norrising this crap.


  22. Man oh man, what a diagnosis! I’m so far out of the loop, this is the first I’m reading about it. Sounds like you’re being a total champ about it and getting the help you need. Good for you. Thoughts are with you!


  23. This is so gorgeous and raw and real. And they are so worth fighting for.

    Keep it up!


  24. liz liz

    Boom and Boom.

    And the good doc knowing what to do to make you feel better. Triple Boom.


  25. I admire you for sharing your journey. They are great reasons to fight.


  26. I admire your strength!

    Also? You’ve got the cutest family in the history of ever.


  27. You’re on your way to “get there”. Sounds like you are in good hands. That kid of yours – damn he’s cute. Takes after his mama :)


  28. mommakiss mommakiss

    sweet jebus, I missed you and your fighting ass. a lot.

    i’m back. hi.


    Kimberly Reply:

    @mommakiss,I missed you and your motor boating pigtails. Come to mama


  29. you are the absolute model for fighting your ass off. I am so proud of you. I am so proud you have found your inner Chuck Norris back!


    Kimberly Reply:

    @Katie, I should put my button on every day :)


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