Every time I look at that chesterfield, the one with the diarrhea of flowers (bing bong 1970 at the door and they want their chesterfield back), I am reminded of that one time we were caught.
Naked.
When my husband and I were dating, I frequently stayed at his parent’s house. Why? Because no one was ever home there. Their tiny house nestled upon acres of land in the country. The only sounds came from the birds chirping in the forest behind them, passing breezes that whistled through the patio door, and the occasional car that zipped down the road.
It was perfect.
For getting it on.
On this particular hot summer day, we found ourselves flipping through the channels on T.V. Shawn always managed to flip on porn.
Yes, his parents had subscribed to porn.
It came with the package.
That’s what she said.
Ahem…
Anysexytimes, there we were hot and bothered. Shawn had that look in his eye that said “Baby you are so smoking hot right now. I want you”…
Kidding…
He said “Let’s get it on”…
Because he’s romantic like that.
Anyways, there we were on that faux suede couch bumping and writhing into our sweaty bodies when we heard the door open.
Shawn catapulted me off onto the floor.
Of course he managed to cover himself with a blanket.
Because he’s a hero like that.
I on the other hand tried to stuff two boobs, one leg and my muff under the couch…
We held our breaths and waited to see who had walked in.
And waited.
And waited for what felt like an eternity.
I prepared my mind for an explanation when we heard the cock block coming near.
They wrestled with a chip bag.
Then we heard the crunches.
Then we heard…
“S’up guys. Nice program you’re watching. I just came over to have some chips.”
His brother.
His older brother caught us.
And he stood there in the door way eating fucking chips to make the embarrassing moment even more painful.
Seconds felt like an eternity.
Shawn laughed.
I died.
“Oh, you need a moment to COMPOSE yourselves?” Bill said.
“I’ll sit on the stairs and tell me when you’re decent.”
I never got dressed so fast in all of my life.
Talk about awkward right?
To this day Bill always throws pot shots about the couch at family functions.
Come to think of it, I don’t think that Bill has ever sat on that couch since.
Now that Shawn and I are married, we can get it on in the privacy of our own home. Now we just have to worry about Chunky walking in.
In which case, I would also die a slow embarrassing death.
How many lives are we born with?
So my question to you is, have you ever been caught?
Oh and since Father’s Day is coming near, how about buying your husband or your baby’s Daddy something fun and sensual for Father’s Day? Something that says, “I love you for being the best Father to my children. Now let’s get it on.”
EdenFantasys have all your needs covered for this Father’s Day. Sexy lingerie.
How about some fun games?
EdenFantasys have everything you need to make your husband feel EXTRA special for this Father’s Day. Oh and their shopping is done online in the privacy of your own home (so no Bill’s showing up with a bag of chips) and their shipping comes in discreet packaging!!!
*Disclaimer: I recieved a free game eons ago but while I was sick. I was unable to do a post at that time. Anyhoodles, no further compensation has been given. All opinions are my own and I thank Maria from EdenFantasys for being so patient with me. They are an amazing company to work with.
So funny, what a brother. I would have died of embarrassment.
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At least it was his brother! How embarrassing!!! I would probably have ripped the blanket away from Shawn though.
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No, I’ve never been caught. But there was that summer I dated that guy and the only place we had to get busy was the front seat of my car which was parked in his parent’s driveway. I was always kind of afraid of getting caught and that fear was sort of thrilling.
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Never been “caught,” but Shane’s mother almost caught us once. Almost being caught is definitly sexier than being caught.
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Sooo mortifying. And that he stood there and ate chips?! OMG I’ve never been caught. And God knows what I’d do if I were.
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Bhahahahahahah! My word I fucking love you. I love that you tell a story instead of just doing the standard, “They’ve got double headed dildos! They’ve got butt plugs!”
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I sometimes buy my husband lingerie (for me) for his birthday and other special occasions. There is no better way to “invite” romance in to the relationship.
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I just choked on my coffee. There are so many funny lines in that post. I would have died, too. And no, knock on wood, I have never been caught. Phew!
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This was one funny sponsored post. I can’t believe you forgave your husband for leaving you uncovered. There has to be retribution for that shit.
I think you could do a whole lot of things with anal beads from Eden’s Fantasys.
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I can’t say we’ve ever been caught – thank goodness. And I think I would totally buy lingerie like that if my body was that hot. For real.
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never been caught in person, however when introduced to my upstairs neighbors in college, I couldn’t figure out why they already knew my boyfriend’s name.
ahem.
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Hahaha! I would have died too! I was caught. Once. By my boyfriend’s mother. It was AWFUL! I still cringe at that thought!
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The fact that she crafts is a story is one of the reasons we love Kimberly at Eden!
Soooo worth the wait!
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I love this post. LoL
When the hubs and I were dating (not to mention far too young to be having sex, but far too hot to not be having sex), we got caught by one of my now-sisters-in-law. She didn’t see any of my goods, but she saw far too much of the hubs. It was horrifying for all involved.
Never been caught by our kids, and hope that we never will be. *fingers crossed tightly*
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OMG, this is hilarious! We never got caught. Close, but never really caught.
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Yikes!!! What a nightmare! No, I’ve never been caught, but I did catch my parents. Ewww!
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OHM!! How funny! Of course it’s funny for me reading this, I’m sure there was no humor in this for you at the moment it was happening. Thankfully, I have never been caught. We’ve had some pretty close calls but never actually caught.
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Ha! I guess I could say that I have been in a similar situation. But I do not want to talk about it. Nope. Traumatizing. Anyway, great story! I was totally ready for you to say that it was his parents.
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Kimberly Reply:
June 17th, 2011 at 7:49 pm
@Crystal, No see, if that was his parents I probably would be dead or at least broke from having to pay for a new couch!
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