I don’t talk much about my issues with chronic pain on my blog because, well, it’s depressing. And if I did start bitching about how every living second of my day is spent like this…
…I’d have to start offering free samples of Prozac to you readers.
But today is your lucky day. (No, I don’t have samples of Prozac, but if you email me, I’ll send you my psychiatrist’s card.) I’m giving you a recap of my pain specialist appointment that happened 2 weeks ago.
On that day, I woke up more excited than a kid on Christmas day. After all, I had only waited 7 months to see him.
Yea, that wasn’t a typo. S-E-V-E-N months.
I’ve never been so excited to see a doctor before. In fact, I was so excited that IÂ skipped up to his office which is quite a feat since:
 A. I have more metal in my spine than Flava Flav has in his mouth
He's got more gold in his mouth than the entire Vatican
 and B. I haven’t felt the right side of my leg since 2006.
I reached his office and when I opened the door, peaceful doves representing my salvation flew out.
Kidding.
They were flies.
Kidding.
I greeted the lovely secretary with the enchanting smoker’s lung with a smile, my health card, and my medical records from my most awesome USofA doctors.
Was she impressed?
No.
Because I had stapled the pages and she had to un-clip them.
An entire year’s worth of reports.
Hey, I understand her frustration. Un-stapling papers is tough business. There is always a risk for paper cuts and getting the staples jammed under your nail. That’s nothing to laugh about.Â
We are going to FACK up your manicure.
But I should have at least got some credit for arranging the records in chronological order and by physician.
I always come prepared.
After she bitched and moaned and hacked up her left lung, she led me to the exam room and directed me to sit on one of those hard plastic chairs. You know the ones that grind your butt bones and makes your ass sweat?
What?
That just happens to me?
Anyways, she hands me a 3 page form to fill out. It was an “All About Me” form and I squeeeeed in delight because what blogger doesn’t love writing about themselves?
Man, was the doctor ever in for a treat.
Then I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And memorized the “Get Your Flu Shot Before It Gets You” poster.
And waited.
And waited.
And surprised myself when I remembered all the words to a Backstreet Boy song played on the overhead radio.
And I readjusted my sweaty ass on the plastic seat.
And I checked my hair in the mirror…What? I wanted to make a good impression.
And then there was a knock at the door…
It was him.
I pictured him to be like Jesus only he was actually going to listen to my prayers and answer them.
"I'm here to save you Kimberly"
 Ok, that was I bit much. I apologize.
And then he took a seat and stared long and hard at my very well written “About Me Form”.Â
Then he said:
Doctor C: Oh, I don’t recognize any of the doctors that you have listed
Me: Well, they’re my doctors from Michigan.
Doctor: Why Michigan?
Me: I was injured at work in Michigan. I’ve been seeing them.
Then…THEN…you know what he said?
Doctor C: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY OFFICE THEN?
And he said it so sternly.
Sternly.
Then he closed my chart and threw in on his desk like a piece of trash.
Can I tell you how crushed I was?
I went on to explain to him about my employer situation and how they refuse to pay for me anymore and that it is going to court…blah blah…but it didn’t matter.
He was annoyed with me and my superior Michigan doctors.
Yea I said superior.
Then he went on to do his physical exam and I can tell you that since my injury in 2003, I have never been man handled by a doctor like that. He bent me and twisted me far beyond my limitations and when I said “Ow that hurts!” and “Did something just pop?” he never listened or stopped or apologized.
I'm fairly certain that my hair isn't going to look right tomorrow.
I. WAS. IN. TEARS.
Then to top it off he says to me:
Doctor C: It’s very clear that you have multiple issues going on here. I won’t be certain about my treatment plan until you get a bone scan. Once I get the results, we will go from there.
A bone scan?
In the 7 months that I waited to see him, did he not read my report and think “Perhaps it would be beneficial for her to get a bone scan while we wait. That way, when I see her, we will have everything in order”
But no.
No he didn’t.
So now today, 2 weeks later, I have a bone scan to go to. Then I don’t get to see Doctor C until the END OF OCTOBER.
I already hate his face.
I know, you’re all thinking that I should just find someone else. But I can’t.
I live in Canada.
Home of free health care and where everyone is DYING to actually access it.
What is the point of this post?
The point is people, I need a fucking break.
And that I wasted a good leg shaving on this appointment.
Fuck. Just fuck.
And also? That’s bullshit. I’m pissed for you.
And I want to see how many more swear words I can get into my comment so: He’s a damn asshole. And I’m so sorry.
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What an asswipe of a doctor. Is there no way to find another between now and end of October? Or is that not how it works? What happened to bedside manners?
Sorry you have to go through this, that really sucks.
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Wow, his BS manners (LOL) DO suck! I loved when you said “I hate his face” hahahahahahaha! Atleast you maintain your sense of humor! Good luck with the wait.
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Are you on the cancellation list at your doctor’s office? It’s a trick a lot of folks in my neck of the woods use and it tends to work more often than not.
I sympathize completely with your annoyance with the Canadian medical system. I’ve had some great experiences with it (namely, the care my daughter had during her 8 day stay earlier this month), but, oh, holy hell, I’ve had some pretty spectacularly bad ones too. Being shuffled from specialist to specialist to specialist… I like the ‘free’ health care we get, but it’d be much better if it worked a wee bit better for us.
And I hope you get the help you need. I really do – I can’t imagine your pain and frustration with it ail. Good luck
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You should have farted in his face!
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Oh my goodness. So sorry that you hafta go through that
sometimes doctors just suck. Majorly.
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That really sucks. Sorry you have to deal with that. And I agree with jen, fart on him next time!
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I hate these kind of asshole “doctors” who place their manhood and sense of self esteem into whether or not they are revered and enjoy placing their patients in a degrading place. I have three chronic rare genetic disorders and I have actually had a doctor say “Well, I have to look this up since I only heard about it in passing in med school” go print out an inch and a half of papers about it and then proceeded to tell me I didn’t have this rare disorder that three other doctors had already confirmed (and that one symptom is only found in 98% of cases)told me I needed to lose weight (I was there about tumors in my kidneys ) and sent me home (a 100 mile journey). Once I was in CHF and told at the ER that I had bronchitus and did I think I was manic because of my Bipolar and to go see my regular doctor not the ER…until the xray came back. They are jackasses who are full of themselves and can harm us in their self absorption.
I am so sorry this was such a let down and you got one of these narcissists. Im gonna pray that you get the break you so need.
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Are you KIDDING ME? Are you KIDDING? I know you aren’t, but seriously . . . if I lived nearby, I’d stop by his office and bitchslap him. I would. Sorry for the profanity. But I’m mad for you. And sad. Because I want you to be free of the pain, my sweet friend. Free of it. Holy cow . . . this makes me made. And the fact that you shaved your legs, too. It’s not right. Nope, not at all. Augh. (While reading this post, my daughter – the 8 year old- asked me about you. I told her you were my dear friend who lives in Canada. She now thinks you are, like, the COOLEST PERSON IN THE WORLD because Justin Beiber MUST be your neighbor. Just had to tell you.) Hugs, and hang in there.
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I’m so sorry this happened to you. I was a social worker in a hospital for 17 years, so I saw how doctors can treat their patients – the rudeness (to put it mildly), the high regard they have for themselves, simply because they are doctors.
I have found that the MDs who are the most renowned, and who you have to wait the longest to see, can be the biggest offenders. They believe their own hype.
If it depresses you, don’t complain about your pain – but please know that I feel you should be able to bitch about your pain here, should you feel like it -
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That would have been way too fucking easy. I don’t know how you haven’t lost your shit on the hospital and not ended up in jail.
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this RIGHT HERE is why i don’t complain about anything with my healthcare here in the USofA…just our insurance stuff…but not mine. I pay $500 a month for top of the line insurance.
Come be my dependent. your shit will get taken care of
people would believe you are my adopted 12-year-old daughter, right? RIGHT?
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I have been equally frustrated by the health care system in Canada when my youngest son was a baby and we waited over 6 months for an appt with the ENT specialist. Meanwhile my 9 month old baby ruptured his ear drum and when the doctor finally saw my baby, she asked why we weren’t seen earlier. She also booked him for surgery the next day to insert ear tubes because she said he was the worst case of ear infection and damage to his ear drum that she had ever seen. That came as no surprise to me because I had spent the last 6 months up every night with him as he screamed non-stop.
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Don’t make me cry for you, just come live with me.
Fer realz.
xo
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What a stupid asshole. You know who else is an asshole? All of those assholes who think the US will benefit from “free” healthcare. Nothing is free, you assholes.
::end rant::
Seriously… you’ve been suffering for too long. I hope this idiot can do something for you, even though he’s an ((ahem)) asshole.
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I’ve been to a few of those doctors! I as well live in Canada and find it frustrating that you have to wait for a year to see a specialist only to have them cast you aside or treat you like your the crazy one! Where in Canada are you? Sorry about your frustration. I hope that you get your pain under control soon.
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My God I would be so pissed off! I’m so sorry you had to deal with this. Here in California healthcare sucks but at least we don’t have to wait THAT long for an appt. I hope this guy gets his…and karma will get him one day.
I hope you find some kind of solution ASAP my friend!
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WHAT THE HELL? I now hate that fucking doctor. What is it with some people and their complete lack of people skills? That’s it, I’m coming over to punch him in the goddamn face.
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You shaved your legs for that guy? What an a-hole. It’s so hard to find good doctors. I do have one question though: What’s F-R-E-E healthcare and where can I get me some? Next time, fart on him. Give him a good Chunky Monkey buttercup or something.
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That fucking sucks! He needs a good kick in the balls.
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What.a.DICK!
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What a d-bag! So sorry, Kim. You deserve better than that dude. I wish I could share my healthcare with you! I remember when you shared with us (I think on twitter) that you got the appointment for 7 months later & how pissed off I felt for you then. Now I’m even angrier! But on the plus side, you have such a way with words that you make even infuriating experiences sound hilarious! Such a talented and creative writer you are!! xoxo
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What a major asshole! I hate when Dr.’s treat you like shit.
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What an ass. Why do doctors think they can treat people like this. You should have broke out in tears in his office about how long it took you to get an appointment and that you shaved just for him.
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Since you are unfortunate to have to see him, if he is as obnoxious again,
if he ‘manipulates’ your body somehow, I feel you should throw your self to the floor.
Sob uncontrollably.
Scream – what did you just do, I have never felt such pain …
and then threaten to sue the bastard …
and you could probably get away with it if lawyers in Canada are anything like the ones in the US
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I would have told Dr. Cocksucker to go fuck himself! In all seriousness, I’m really sorry that you are in so much pain. That really does suck!
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I love how this is in the Whine and Cheese category. What a stupid prick. On your next appointment ask him to bend over and cough.
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Don’t shave next time. Screw him. What an ass-hat. Seriously, when you go back, you should barricade yourself in front of the door and refuse to leave unless they do something to help you. Bone scan? Really? What does he think is going to show up on that? MRI I can understand, certainly new xrays for comparison to old ones. Every effing doctor that has sent me or someone I know for a bone scan comes back and says “Well, that gave us some info, but now we need to see the soft tissue, so now we want you to have an MRI.” Tell the asshats if they need an MRI, too, they better schedule it before your next appt! GRRRR – see how frustrated I am for you? NOT RIGHT what they are putting you through!
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The leg shaving in itself makes him top of my list of going go all ape shit whoop ass on him.
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What an asshole. I’m so sorry. I’d hoped it would be some great epiphany and your pain prayers would be answered. I hope that insensitive dickwad didn’t completely bring you down for too long.
Sorry about the cussing. This and your stupid lawyer make me so mad for you.
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That is ridiculous. That makes me SO MAD for you. There was no reason for him to treat you like that. And to not have his stuff together is just lazy. I wish you could find someone else. Grrrr.
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What an awesome bedside manner he has! Truly lovely!
I am sorry he was not all you hoped. Or even a teeny bit like you hoped.
It sucks, and I’m so sorry. Hopefully he won’t be such an fucktard next time you see him.
Also, is it bad I giggled at that Jesus?
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Are you KIDDING me?
Well, let’s look on the bright side:
You had the opportunity to exercise your memorization skills with that flu poster.
You got to hear some rockin’ BSB tunes.
And let’s not forget that you wisely seized the opportunity to make a Flava Flav reference.
Did that help? No? Then I’ll just tell you how sorry I am for this ordeal that you’re going through. xo
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That is crushingly, overwhelmingly sad. I am SO sorry. *Happy Thoughts*
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I’m so sorry for this, Kimberly.
I have nothing to say about this doctor, it’s just unbelievable he can treat someone this way.
I comment you for not kicking his ass.
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I’m sorry this is happening to you. Same here, home of the free health care, I can tell you a story about this. That’s why if you’re really sick in Paradise, you’re better off with a private doctor of your choice, of course you have to pay for it in cash. Or you go abroad with your own $. I hope your next appointment is better. Think positive, it just has to be better, at least now he has the bone scan.
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What an ass. I would have broken down in tears right there in his office. I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t be treated like that. ESPECIALLY by a doctor!!
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I hate doctors. Seriously. Like the fact that I have to find a new one because my current one believes that I really don’t need my meds. So I just feel for you having to wait and wait to see a doctor and then be treated like that. Very unprofessional.
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Crappy, inconsiderate and uncaring doctors SUCK! I’m so sorry you had to go through this. NOBODY should be in pain for that long, and made to wait for THAT LONG! Ridiculous!
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Im so sorry the appointment was terrible all the way around, and that you have to wait even longer for progress. But Im glad for the update. *HUG*
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That makes me so unbelievably mad I can’t even begin to express it.
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I know dude.
I roinks.
New plan of action?
You will be a snarky bitch at ever appointment BECAUSE you worked in Michigan.
He will give you an appointment every two weeks BECAUSE if he doesn’t the gang you joined in the states will bust a cap.
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