The sun is out today.
Not a cloud in the sky nor a soul in my yard except for me, the chirping crickets, and a lone crow in my tree that I want to kill.
Seriously God. Crows are already disgusting. Did you have to make them annoyingly loud?
Speaking of which, ever notice how God makes annoying things like mosquitoes? Or how about those flies that eat dog shit then land directly on your food?
Oh and then there are those annoying Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercials that always ruin your entire fucking day.
Don’t believe me? Check it…
Then there are turkeys. Ugly as sin, but when cooked to glorious perfection, like my mom only can, they can be a thing of yummy beauty.
Tomorrow in Canada, we will feast on turkey and anything else we can get our grubby hands on…while giving thanks of course. And no this is not turning into one of those “I’m thankful for life and rainbows and health and that the Tigers took the Yankees to pound town” post because I am angry.
Don’t ask because I don’t know why.
It’s one of those package deals that you get when you’re diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Kind of like those shitty DVD players you get when you purchase a sofa and love seat at a furniture store.
No one fucking wants them.
And no one wants to be so angry that they’re willing to climb up an evergreen tree and kill a crow.
It’s like if someone pissed you off and it gets you all fired up inside. You want to yell at them but someone is holding a hand over your mouth. So all day you’re stuck with this anger inside and there is no way to let it escape. So it brews and brews and brews until you eventually snap and find yourself throwing things and punching walls or sending out a verbal diarrhea of tweets that make no sense.
That is me multiplyed by 10.
Only in between all this anger, I have periods of depression and anxiety.
It’s messed up.
Anyways, today while the sun is baking the anger out my armpits because someone forgot to put on deodorant, I wanted to tell you that:
- I’m on medication and yes, I am taking them.
- Yes, husband, I will stop punching and kicking and throwing things at the walls if you stop being a giant vagina when the Tigers are losing.
- Sorry that I haven’t read any blogs lately.
- Happy thanksgiving to my Canadian friends.
- And yes I will eat my face off.
PS. I think it’s ironic that I want to kill a crow and that I made reference to an ASPCA commercial. It’s actually quite hilarious when you think about it.
PPS. No animals were harmed