The late evening sun is barely pushing its way through my bedroom window. My recovery buddy, Champ, lays at my feet snoring heavily. Every once in a while his hind leg twitches and I beg to wonder what his furry mind is dreaming of.
I don’t know how long I’ve been staring at the same channel on t.v.
The fucking Food Network.
Ironic, since a banana almost killed me yesterday.
A pillow splints my midsection which has ballooned to the size of a 4 month pregnant woman.
Only one that’s been stabbed 4 times.
I know. I’m kind of hot.
Shawn’s already given me this look of “Hey, your bed head is kind of sexy, only if I could get past the bile smell in your mouth.”
Kidding.
He’s given me the “Dear Jesus, I think I misunderstood the part when you said in sickness and in health. I was thinking more on the lines of a flu bug, not defunct body parts.”
Jerk.
Kidding.
He washed the iodine off of my stomach without throwing up once and then made me jello.
So he’s a keeper.
Speaking of which there is an air of jubilance flows in from the next room in the form of belly laughs as he rough houses with Chunky in the living room.
Yes, I used the word jubilance.
Even on drugs I surprise the shit out of myself with my intelligence.
What does that say about me?
I don’t know.
Don’t think about it.
As I look around my room, I’m surrounded by a puke bucket, wonderful novels itching to be read (hello bloggess, come to mama), water with a Lego piece floating in it, and so much love.
I want to thank all of you for all of your prayers, thoughts and well wishes.
And for tolerrating narcotic tweets.
I feel very blessed to have so many great people in my life.
The surgery went well.
I’m gallbladder free.
And all is right with the world.
xoxoxo
PS. Don’t forget to visit my guest bloggers. Friday we had the very funny Stephanie talking about her own gallbladder of death and on Saturday we had Tawny confessing her hate of child germs.
There are more awesome bloggers coming up so keep coming back!!
So glad to hear the surgery went well and you’re recovering and taken care of. Rest, read, relax!
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:20 am
@Alison@Mama Wants This, Tell that baby it’s time to come out. My gallbladder said it’s fun on the outside.
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So glad you’re on the road to recovery. I am loving the narcotic tweets. Hoping you heal quickly.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:19 am
@Jenny, I deny them all…hee hee.
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Woohoo, I’m thrilled to hear you’re back at home and everything went well. Sorry you’re not quite up to eating greasy burgers yet, but you’ll get there!
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:19 am
@hollow tree ventures, And thank you so so so much for joining the International Meat-athon here on the bloggy blog!!!
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Narcotic tweets are always fun
So glad the surgery went well and you’re in good caring hands.
Meat is coming soon!
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:18 am
@Deborah / Mom2Michael, THanks Deborah!!!! I can’t wait to eat an entire cow.
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Congratulations! It is over! Hail to the conquering hero!
It’s so astonishing that you still have your wonderful sense of humor!
Sorry for all the exclamation points – I just am so glad you’re OK and that the surgery is over -
xoxox
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:18 am
@Janet, Humour heals.
And so do drugs.
THey make everything funny
xoxo
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I am so glad everything went well and you are being treated by such awesome male nurses.
Let the countdown to the cheeseburger begin!
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:18 am
@angela, Oh cheeseburgers. I’m serious when I say that I’m going to kill a cow with my mouth.
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You know when you’re nowhere near a bathroom and you can feel the poop crowning out of your ass? I was that close to coming up there to do the surgery myself, accompanied by a Gallbladder Removal for Dummies handbook. It would have worked. See, I figured I could throw a porterhouse in your mouth to bite down on as I made my first incision. Right? I have the best ideas. And I know you’d do it for me so there’s that. Love ya girl. But brush yo stank ass breath. xoxox
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:17 am
@Pamela Gold, You are the most hilarious person I know. I love you.
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Glad that all went well and that your ok my friend.
That dumb gallbladder was like a dog with a bone, i’m kinda surprised it didn’t bark at the the doc’s when they removed it!
Get well quick!
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:17 am
@jen, HAHAH! If my gallbladder had fingers it would have given my surgeon the bird. I’m certain of it. xoxox
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It will be clear sailing ahead for you from now on … From my lips to God’s ears.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:16 am
@Karyn Climans, We had a snafu but I know that with time I’ll be as good as new and munching on cow meat
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Gallbladder freeeeeee! Yippee! So glad the surgery went well. Soon you’ll be eating poutine!
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:16 am
@Nicole, OH. MY. POUTINE
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Gull Bladder Free. YEsssssssss, Baaaaby!
Sending you love from Minnesota & LOTS of warm hugs.
You Are Liberated!!!!!!!! <3 Xxxxxxxxx
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:15 am
@My Inner Chick, Love you too!!! I can’t wait to kill a cow with my mouth!!!
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I’m so glad that things went well my friend! Wishing you a very speedy recovery…you are lucky to have such a fantastic caretaker.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:15 am
@Ameena, Thank you Ameena! Yea he’s alright. He didn’t make me jello last night so he’s in the dog house tonight…so kidding.
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I remember the drugs.
I was awesome shit on those things.
Stay in bed and get well.
I love you and your stab wounds
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:15 am
@Leighann, Question is, do you love my mangled belly button?
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yaaaaaaaaaay!!! eff you gallbladder! i’m glad things went well.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:14 am
@katery, I’m so ready to kill a cow with my mouth
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, the gallbladder left for good.
I’m glad the surgery went well. Now it’s time to let the dudes do the work. Let them pamper you as long as you can. I wish you an easy recovery.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:14 am
@Karin @Mommy’s Paradise, The Chunkster has been shipped off to my parents house because I had a snafu in my recovery.
The quiet is kind of weird and I miss him like mad!
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I hope the gall bladder didn’t let the door hit it on the ass on the way out.
or something.
love and healing to you, my love.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:14 am
@Katie, The doctor wouldn’t pickle it in a jar for me. It was too ugly she said.
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Glad to hear it went well! Cheers to a gallbladder trouble free life!
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:13 am
@Ally, I asked the doctor to put it in a jar…she didn’t.
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So glad it’s over and you are home resting. I hope your healing goes well and you are feeling better soon!
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:13 am
@Julia, Me too. We had a snafu but I’m a tough mctougher pants and I’ll be well in no time.
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So glad the surgery went well and you’re now recovering. Get lots of rest. xo
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:12 am
@Kimberly, I will. Chunky has been shipped off to my parents. It’s kind of weird all this quiet…but I’ll take it xoxo
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I’m so glad that things went well, you! xo
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:12 am
@Galit Breen, Me too. I was sweating bullets when they were getting me geared up for surgery. Seriously. My armpits were soaking.
And now that I just gave you a sexy visual I will leave you with an xoxox
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I’m ecstatic that the surgery went well and that you are gallbladder free (I can use big words too).
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:11 am
@Jessica, We are so smaht.
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you’re ok and that stupid gallbladder is gone! TWO GOOD THINGS
Jubliance is happening over here too.
xoxo
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:10 am
@Kir, YAY!!! Jubliance all over! Know what’s funny, I had to make sure that jubliance was an actual word.
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Glad all went well! Now…stop writing and just REST. Doctor’s orders. No, I’m not a dr. but you get the point.
Big hugs from Ava and I.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:10 am
@Susan, HAHAH…I am on my laptop all nestled in bed!
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Please let me know how you’re doing! I’ve been thinking of you since your tweet yesterday.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:09 am
@Lady Jennie, I’m doing the same…well the chest part but my stomach is totally fine. I haven’t ventured into meat yet…I’m being cautious about that!
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I thought of you and your surgery this morning, so I’m glad to hear that you are doing well. Hoping for a fast and healthy recovery for you, friend. xo
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:08 am
@Jessica, Thank you so much Jessica!!! I hope it goes better too once I get over this chest pain. Look out cattle population…Kim is coming soon.
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HOORAY!
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Kimberly Reply:
May 2nd, 2012 at 8:08 am
@Jess, Boom sha laka laka
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