I woke up from a late afternoon nap to the warmth cinnamon wafting in from the kitchen and Shawn holding a Tim Horton’s cup of green tea in front of my face.
Shawn has a funny way of coping when I’m sick. Last year he demolished our hideous pink bathroom and gave life to a magazine page I had archived in my mind of all the things I wished for.
He allowed me to run with my dream and cringed when I picked up a beautiful brown colour swatch named “Satchel” which reminded us of Zach Galifianakis character in “The Hangover”.
“It’s called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one,” Shawn said seriously.
And for the first time in months we roared hysterically in the middle of the hardware store.
I put the swatch in with the rest of our colour choices not thinking once that we’d actually use it to cover the pain of many hard years.
As Shawn said it best, “This paint will cover up all the fuck ups. Hey, kind of like what your make up does for you.”
He’s romantic that way.
The bathroom remodeling didn’t cure my bipolar disorder but it made my days brighter by giving me something positive to focus on.
Of course it also gave me plenty of opportunities to jam odd objects into the crack of Shawn’s exposed bum.
He did what he set out to do; to make me feel better.
And I love him for always trying.
To me that means he’s not giving up on helping me and my quest to find my way.
“When you’re done being lazy, come into the kitchen,” he shouted.
Chunky was already in there with a fork in his hand waiting for a cinnamon roll and my stomach turned with excitement.
My boys watched as the first warm gooey piece passed my lips.
Each bite was as sinfully delicious as the last. I knew my bowels would thank me later but I didn’t care.
I licked every melted morsel of icing off of my fingers and the plate.
When I looked up, Shawn had a wide smile.
“Did I make you forget that rash?”
“What rash?” I said, “I want another roll!”
And with that he jumped out of his chair and plated me another.
“Thank you babe.”
“No problem. They just came from a can. 23 minutes and done.”
“No, for fixing today.”
“Momma, you’re eating like a pig.”
On May 6th we spent our evening laughing together.
Oh, Kim! You don’t need ‘fixing’, my friend! You need CLONING! I know YOU aren’t able to see how much you help ME and I’d guess countless others who ‘read’ you, but you DO. YOU DO, KIM! I’m CLAWING my way through a bad month, and trying so hard to hide it from the world. But visiting you everyday makes the journey just a little less traumatic because I know you GET it. My housemate looks at me as though he WANTS to but doesn’t DARE say, “Get OVER it.” I wish it were that simple. We don’t ask Bipolar to be in our brain. I tell people, “It’s a chemical imbalance of the brain.” They smile politely (or sometimes the rude ones roll their eyes) and I feel frustrated, angry, sad … ! You understand me. I understand YOU. And I love you, Kim! I honestly do! I also think your husband rocks!
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:14 am
@Kai, I’m clawing with you friend. I really am. I’m glad that I can take you on this journey with me. It makes me feel less alone in this. I love that you get this…I mean I don’t…I wish you didn’t…it’s awful…but we’ll claw together ok? xox
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You married the best man for you. Truly.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:13 am
@Alison@Mama Wants This, I know I did. I hope he married the best woman…and if he didn’t he better fake that shit.
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Where to start with the things I love about this post.
A remodeled bathroom? The use of a Zack G. quote? A husband who makes delicious breakfast gooiness?
I’m so happy you ate like a pig on 5/6
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:13 am
@angela, Eating up my feelings is always a good thing to do
And I wanted to take a picture of the bathroom but the camera didn’t capture the Indiana satchel paint…
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Kim, you have such a beautiful way of paying tribute to your husband and son, in the most down-to-earth manner, which makes your words even more moving. I’m glad you had this wonderful morning with Shawn and Chunky.
xoxox
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:12 am
@Janet, Thank you friend. I am so lucky that I have these two boys to help keep me pushing forward. xoxo
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“Indiana Jones carries one.” Well,then sign me up, damn it! It must be a fine, sexy color
SO glad you had a great morning that day. So glad.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:11 am
@Kim, It actually is. I tried to take pictures of it but I guess I’m not a very good bathroom picture taker.
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As cliche as it sounds, it is so the little things. My husband can totally make my day by going out and bringing me back a Tim’s. Truth.
And I love those cinnamon rolls!!
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:11 am
@Susan, It is the little things. It totally is. They keep the soul recharged to take on another moment, day, whatever.
So do cinnamon rolls.
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You always rock it. Truly.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:10 am
@Robin | Farewell Stranger, Thank you Robin
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now i want a cinnamon roll.
thanks for that.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:10 am
@grace, hee hee.
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That man is definitely a keeper!
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:08 am
@Eva Gallant, He sure is. I always tease him when I’m really sick and say “Forever baby”…hee hee
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Damn it, I can’t for the life of me figure out how you always manage to get me laughing and sentimentally teary at the same time! What a gift you have, my friend. Loved this, love you – I wish we were neighbors so we could all hang out and eat cinnamon rolls together.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:07 am
@hollow tree ventures, We would get so fat…but we’d be the funniest neighbors on our streets. People would want to be our friends but we would say no…just because.
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You have a good fellow there! What a nice guy. Warm cinnamon buns are so…god, I want to make some right now. No. I won’t. Because I will eat them all!
Our bathroom is going to be demolished on Friday. Our kitchen is going to be finished on Thursday, then on to the motherfucking bathroom. Plus we’re refinishing the fireplace, re-tiling the back and front entries….Imma gonna be a wee bit crabby for a little while. I will update you on the progress! Our bathroom is not pink but I think we may have mold under our tiles. So that’s awesome.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:07 am
@Nicole, See, Shawn does them in incriments…if he did it all at once could you imagine the state of my hair…It would be ripped out. Not kidding.
I’ll pray for you and eat enough cinnamon rolls to make you feel better. I’m a team player like that.
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i can’t wait to hear how you’re doing now, i wonder if the surgery has proved to be a success. i sure hope so. thinking of you and warm cinnamon rolls (thanks for that).
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:06 am
@katery, The surgery part is actually going quite well aside from a few tummy issues but that is tolerrable. It’s the head stuff that i have to work out
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katery Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:21 am
@Kimberly, me too my friend, me too.
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Laughter is definitely a great cure!
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:05 am
@Karyn Climans, Oh it definietly is the best cure…even if only for a moment…it recharges the soul
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I love that you spent May 6th laughing. You’ve got a good man there. And I love to read how he and Chunky love you so much.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:05 am
@AnnMarie, It was just the perfect night that I needed
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Leave it to the little guy to comment on the eating! LOL Shawn is a blessing. What a good guy he is.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:04 am
@Ally, That child knows how to sneak in a comedic comment at the right time.
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Im so glad you have Shawn and the gooey delishiousness that is love.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:04 am
@Leighann, He’s been working out so it may not be as gooey anymore.
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You have the most absolutely perfect husband for you and I am so glad.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:02 am
@Lady Jennie, I am definitely lucky.
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This post makes me so happy. I kind of love you two.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:02 am
@Emily, Well I love you right on back
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Oh what a perfect pair you two are. I’m so glad you have him and I’m sure he feels just as lucky to have you.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:01 am
@Jessica, I hope that he does.
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Love this
Such an awesome story of love in the everyday.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:01 am
@Tricia, Thank you Tricia. I am so lucky to have my boys.
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Your Shawn is my Dale. He can really make me feel better when I’m having crappy days. I love it when he does it out of the blue, too and he will say comments like that. Love it. Of course he has his fair share of days where he pisses me off.
Love the kiddo’s commentary too! This is so sweet. So sweet that he keeps trying, keeps pushing through. You all sound like a perfect match.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 9:01 am
@Tayarra, I think husbands were meant to throw in the jabs even during tough times…it makes us laugh…
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So awesome
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 8:59 am
@Anonymousmomma, You are awesome
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It’s the little things, isn’t it? It’s the way they know us so well and know just what to do. I love marriage.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 8:59 am
@Laura Wright @ The ODD Mom, People don’t understand how the little things can really help us trudge through all the bad. Cinnamon rolls are just a bonus.
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How wonderful that he cooks and remodels! What a wonderful guy!
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 8:59 am
@JDaniel4′s Mom, Yup he is definitely a keeper.
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You have such great men in our life! The images you’ve created in my mind in this post have me swooning. You’re a lucky girl!
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 8:58 am
@Jessica, I know that I am. They are the reason I keep trying my hardest to fight off these episodes. They want me to.
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It really makes me very happy to know my friends are treated well, as they deserve <3
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 8:58 am
@Nikky44, So much love to you friend.
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um, Cort totally makes me cinnamon rolls from the tube when I can’t get out of bed too.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 8:57 am
@Katie, I don’t know why but those rolls…ahem yes I said rolls as in I will eat probably the tube…make me feel good. so do the boys
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You surely married the best man for you! Love that you spent the day laughing.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 8:57 am
@Kimberly, And eating cinnamon buns…oooy gooey cinnamon buns right from the oven. Nom nom
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Ahhhh, Kimberly,
Xxxxxx
You So deserve a good man like that!
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 8:56 am
@My Inner Chick, I am so lucky that I married that hillbilly from the country. xxo
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What an awesome way to spend an evening. He sounds perfect.
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 8:56 am
@Natalie @MamaTrack, It was what I needed…oh I thought you were talking about the cinnamon rolls.
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Awww… that is so sweet! You have such a wonderful family, Kimberly
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 8:54 am
@jamieywrites, i’m pretty lucky…very lucky…
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Your boys are awesome. Isn’t it the best when they know exactly what to do to make us feel better? Love it.
Great post, as always. xoxo
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Kimberly Reply:
May 31st, 2012 at 8:35 am
@Jennifer, It is the best. I know that no matter how deep I get, they will always be there still fighting for me when I can’t. xo
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I love it. And damn those canned rolls are magic. I’ve now said magic in two consecutive comments. I am not spam. I promise.
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You make me smile, and then also hold back a tear … but in a good way.
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