Wakefulness swarmed the kitchen as the coffee brewed.
I heard Champ stretching, dragging his claws on the hardwood floor.
His tongue rolled out of his mouth and let out a loud yawn.
He shook out his dreamy state, flinging dog hair into the air like fucking glitter.
Only not as magical.
But equally annoying to sweep up.
His tail wagged happily as he made his way towards me, nudging his head into my hand.
“You know I’m going to shave you this summer”, I whispered as I scratched the sweet spot behind his ear.
He circled about 10 times and flopped his body heavily on the vent.
Asshole.
“If you wake him up, not only will I shave you, I’ll put a pink hanky on you.”
I woke up before the boy child again.
You’d think I’d sleep for hours since I have been taking enough medications to take out a baby elephant.
Instead of waiting for Chunky to stir, I decided to get up and try to enjoy a cup of coffee by myself.
By myself.
I laugh at that statement.
When you stay at home being all unemployed like, doing things by yourself is about as real as Joan River’s face.
I can’t look at that broad without wondering what her corpse will look like.
Could you imagine archaeologists digging up her coffin?
Ropes, wires, silicone, plastic, my mother in laws over cooked turkey all stapled to her face.
Oh the things I think about when I only sleep 3 hours.
I wrapped my hands around my coffee mug and opened the patio door to let some fresh air in.
The quietness filled my soul.
What did I do before Chunky?
Read the paper?
Enjoy a bowl of cereal before it got soggy?
Listen to the radio station that salutes each caller with the word “penis”?
It’s true.
Makes me giggle every time.
Did IÂ venture out into the yard and sink into a lounge chair?
“Momma! What are you doing?”
He made me jump out of my chair.
“Did you eat your breakfast without me?” he demanded to know.
“No sweets. Just a coffee.”
“Why didn’t you wake me up? We sit here and eat and watch the skwills (squirrels)Â run away from Champ.”
“Yes we do. I’m sorry. I thought you were tired and needed some sleep.”
“I sleep for a very long time,” he said climbing onto my lap, “I dream about riding a horse and he was wearing a hat. It was so funny Momma. What did you dream about?”
I chuckled.
It doesn’t matter what I did before Chunky.
I wouldn’t trade in these breakfast dates for all the quiet in the world.
Peeing by myself however…..
I love this. I’m with you. I can barely remember life before, and it doesn’t matter. Because the now, crazy as it is, is what I love.
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You brought those days right back to me with your beautiful writing! It made me MISS my little girl so much – the sleep-hair, yukky-but-precious little morning breath, still-warm-from-the-covers body … most of all, the joy in her voice at SEEING me. I think back & KNOW that no one else has EVER been that glad to see me first thing each morning. Thank you, Kim. And thank you, sweet Chunky! I surely do love you two!
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So true that no befores will ever compare. Love your take on it.
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This Is So True!!!!!! By myself? That is my luxury now. My fantasy. And yes….they are the best things ever
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So weird. I was JUST thinking about this yesterday. What in the world did I DO? Not just in the mornings but always? How did I fill those moments of silence?
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What a sweet morning routine. But it will never make up for peeing by yourself. Nothing will.
P.S. I love that morning show and hate that I can’t listen to it during my morning commute any more.
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I love, love, love that photo!!!!
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Before kids? I slept in. Oh, how I miss sleep. But I wouldn’t trade them for the world.
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That is such a precious photo, as is the one you create with your words.
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I have always hated mornings. Always. Before kids my summers consisted of my trying to avoid seeing mornings completely. Now we are up by 7am and rocking. And I sort of love it. Weirdsies.
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LOVE this post. Took me right back to when my son’s were little….a wonderful time. And that picture is priceless. Just loved this, my friend. Thanks for sharing! XOXOs
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That’s just beautiful! As would be peeing my myself.
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Sanstrousers Reply:
July 9th, 2012 at 10:38 am
@Sanstrousers,Ack! “by” myself! I pee my myself all the time.
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I know exactly what you mean. I can’t remember what I did prior to my third son either (although I probably can’t remember because I had my brain zapped, with fucking electricity… earlier this year) but it doesn’t matter. Our routine is too precious to avoid. Also, if he found out I did anything without him, he’d kick my ass. He’s wickedly strong for a three year old.
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That is so sweet. So very cute. Aw, Chunky!
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When your son has grown up and flown the nest, you’ll miss the early morning wake-up calls. You can’t win!
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I love this and can so relate. Life before is such a distant memory. It was so easier then, but I love the fullness of this life more.
p.s. I also wonder about Joan River’s face. Definitely a scary thought. lol.
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aww. I love this so much. And completely agree — wouldn’t go back to silence for anything. Also: Joan Rivers face!
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Will we ever get to pee by ourselves again? I mean seriously. Can’t we have just 20 seconds of privacy?
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Peeing by your self! is there such a thing.?
I Loved reading your words.
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Peeing by myself? I don’t mind. But #2… different story.
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Before. Ahh.
So much freedom.
So much sleep.
But my heart wasnt full
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Too true
But yes, peeing by myself will always be a special treat 
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LOL! i would do anything to pee alone!!
What a beautiful post. And I agree…wouldn’t trade it for the world.
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You will pee alone again someday… I promise. Beautiful post. Again you make me smile.
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I missed reading your posts that always make me smile
I have nominated you today for a new Award
http://nikkysstrengthandweakness-nikky44.blogspot.com/2012/07/readers-love-and-appreciation.html
I hope you’re fine
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Before is something I only get glimpses of now and then. I’m missing something when I do, even when it’s needed, ya know?
I feel you. Love this. Been trying to read it since yesterday. oops. So much time, yes? What have I been DOing? i don’t know, it just flies by!
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Love Love Love when you bring us into your home w/ your delicious words…
Xxx
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my favorite time of day is when the boy wakes up from his nap. He sits in the crook of my arm and we sit together and watch sesame street. You are right. Wouldn’t trade those moments – but a moment alone in the bathroom? I would give my right arm
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“Why didn’t you wake me up?”….bahahahahahahahaha! Kids say the darndest things.
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I was just thinking this too. What did I do before them?? But seriously, peeing in privacy? I’d love that!
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So, so sweet! Breakfast dates are the best. Although I can not imagine my life without my son, I can definitely imagine what it would be like to have more sleep. Good thing these little guys are cute; it totally makes up for the sleep deprivation.
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I totally identify with this. It’s so true. I’m not sure what I did before. It was quiet and peaceful and BORING. I wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world.
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That’s so sweet. My 11 year old told me out of the blue the other day that spontaneous combustion was the result of someone holding in their farts too long and exploding from it. Yes, he’s brilliant. What did we do without them?
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Just now reading this and just now falling in love with it! I love the 1st morning chats!
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