Wakefulness swarmed the kitchen as the coffee brewed.
I heard Champ stretching, dragging his claws on the hardwood floor.
His tongue rolled out of his mouth and let out a loud yawn.
He shook out his dreamy state, flinging dog hair into the air like fucking glitter.
Only not as magical.
But equally annoying to sweep up.
His tail wagged happily as he made his way towards me, nudging his head into my hand.
“You know I’m going to shave you this summer”, I whispered as I scratched the sweet spot behind his ear.
He circled about 10 times and flopped his body heavily on the vent.
“If you wake him up, not only will I shave you, I’ll put a pink hanky on you.”
I woke up before the boy child again.
You’d think I’d sleep for hours since I have been taking enough medications to take out a baby elephant.
Instead of waiting for Chunky to stir, I decided to get up and try to enjoy a cup of coffee by myself.
I laugh at that statement.
When you stay at home being all unemployed like, doing things by yourself is about as real as Joan River’s face.
I can’t look at that broad without wondering what her corpse will look like.
Could you imagine archaeologists digging up her coffin?
Ropes, wires, silicone, plastic, my mother in laws over cooked turkey all stapled to her face.
Oh the things I think about when I only sleep 3 hours.
I wrapped my hands around my coffee mug and opened the patio door to let some fresh air in.
The quietness filled my soul.
What did I do before Chunky?
Read the paper?
Enjoy a bowl of cereal before it got soggy?
Listen to the radio station that salutes each caller with the word “penis”?
Makes me giggle every time.
Did I venture out into the yard and sink into a lounge chair?
“Momma! What are you doing?”
He made me jump out of my chair.
“Did you eat your breakfast without me?” he demanded to know.
“No sweets. Just a coffee.”
“Why didn’t you wake me up? We sit here and eat and watch the skwills (squirrels) run away from Champ.”
“Yes we do. I’m sorry. I thought you were tired and needed some sleep.”
“I sleep for a very long time,” he said climbing onto my lap, “I dream about riding a horse and he was wearing a hat. It was so funny Momma. What did you dream about?”
It doesn’t matter what I did before Chunky.
I wouldn’t trade in these breakfast dates for all the quiet in the world.
Peeing by myself however…..