While at the water park, I was suddenly overcome with the intense desire to overdose my ovaries with a pack of birth control pills.
I love kids.
Specifically my kid.
Unless they were at the water park on Thursday.
There was screaming.
And “Mom, can I pee in the water?”
And there was crying.
And there was “I had this first!”
And “No I had it first!”
And “I’m telling!”
And the name “Mom” being shouted in every language and every dangerous decible known to the human ear…
And there I was on the park bench.
Gritting my teeth.
One eye on the boy child.
The other eye on the weird kids who thought it was fun to use the water fountain as their personal bidet.
Does water shooting up your bum bum feel good?
Am I missing out?
All I kept thinking about was, “Oh. My. God. There is poo particles in the water.”
And Bob Barker…
“Help control the pet population. Keep your pets spayed and neutered”
And to take only a few pictures of the madness because I didn’t want to look like the park pervert.
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