Well I’ll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation, it’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun, I’m gonna have fun and you’re gonna have fun, we’re all gonna have so much fucking fun we’ll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You’ll be whistling Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah out of your assholes! I gotta be crazy; I’m on a pilgrimage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose!
National Lampoon’s Vacation
Yea, that is a real moose and her baby.
Yea, I took that picture.
From the safety of the side of the road…
…while Shawn yelled at me to get back in the car.
Unless you wear these pants…
Anyways, the House of Chunky is on a camping adventure somewhere up north in Canada where the moose and bears and beavers roam free.
Where the raccoons bust into your tent while you sleep because you forgot to wipe the marshmallow from your face.
Where the chipmunks steal food left on the picnic table, like a giant juicy peach, and wedge it into the tree above you to mock you and your carelessness….
…and it will stay there for the duration of your vacation because the dumb asshole forgot where it hid it.
There are other animals too.
Like this one…
…he’s a friendly bear…
…when he’s fed.
It sounds so glamorous doesn’t it?
I even packed thongs.
And I brought a special wine in a box to celebrate my 25th birthday.
I really hope that Shawn will bake me a birthday cake.
Is that too much to ask?
You only turn 25 years old 6 years in a row.
So wish us luck on our big adventure.
PS. Mark and Michelle, before you go grinding your naughty bits in our house while you’re house sitting (fuck off robbers) just remember that Shawn and I conceived your nephew somewhere in our home on some piece of furniture and or carpet and or shower.
Maybe even the lawn chairs…
PPS. Thanks for watching the dog.