Well I’ll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation, it’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun, I’m gonna have fun and you’re gonna have fun, we’re all gonna have so much fucking fun we’ll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You’ll be whistling Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah out of your assholes! I gotta be crazy; I’m on a pilgrimage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose!
National Lampoon’s Vacation
Yea, that is a real moose and her baby.
Yea, I took that picture.
From the safety of the side of the road…
…while Shawn yelled at me to get back in the car.
They’re harmless.
I think.
Unless you wear these pants…
Anyways, the House of Chunky is on a camping adventure somewhere up north in Canada where the moose and bears and beavers roam free.
Where the raccoons bust into your tent while you sleep because you forgot to wipe the marshmallow from your face.
Where the chipmunks steal food left on the picnic table, like a giant juicy peach, and wedge it into the tree above you to mock you and your carelessness….
…and it will stay there for the duration of your vacation because the dumb asshole forgot where it hid it.
There are other animals too.
Like this one…
…he’s a friendly bear…
…when he’s fed.
9 days.
It sounds so glamorous doesn’t it?
I even packed thongs.
And I brought a special wine in a box to celebrate my 25th birthday.
I really hope that Shawn will bake me a birthday cake.
Is that too much to ask?
You only turn 25 years old 6 years in a row.
So wish us luck on our big adventure.
PS. Mark and Michelle, before you go grinding your naughty bits in our house while you’re house sitting (fuck off robbers) just remember that Shawn and I conceived your nephew somewhere in our home on some piece of furniture and or carpet and or shower.
Maybe even the lawn chairs…
PPS. Thanks for watching the dog.






























I can’t believe it, we are exactly the same age!
I didn’t know your birthday was coming up, happy birthday my friend.
[Reply]
girl. you and camping. I don’t know how you do it, but I hope you have fun and relax and all that wonderful stuff.
Also? HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I have now turned 25 nine years in a row! Fancy that!
[Reply]
Happy Birthday!!
Here’s to more lawn furniture copulating and fewer animal food-thieves!
[Reply]
Oh good luck to you. Do you have to sleep outside? I’ve never once made it, I always end up sleeping in the car. I’m outdoorsy like that.
[Reply]
Well, happy birthday and happy camping!!
Watch out animals!
[Reply]
Happy Birthday! You look so cute.
And moose (what’s the plural – mooses? meese?) are actually super dangerous. I’m not kidding. Don’t be deceived.
[Reply]
Have a great time camping (and be careful around the animals – at least, the large ones…)
And HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope 25 is a great year for you.
xoxox
[Reply]
Happy Birthday, Darling.
We are the same age!!!
NOT ))))
Damn you!
Love Xxxxxx
[Reply]
your posts never fail to brighten my day, even in your darkest times. i hope you have an amazing time and i’m sure you can use the thongs to fashion some sort of slingshot in order to bring dinner to the campsite for your family.
[Reply]
oh, and happy birthday, next year i will be 30 for the seventh time
[Reply]
Loving the joy and carefree’ity (totally a word0 of this post.
You go show the wild animals who is really in charge you super outdoorsy wonderwoman you.
But watch out for some of those critters, they will lick the marshmallow and then eat your face.
[Reply]
ahem, that would read (totally a word) clearly I am not 25 and holding anymore …
[Reply]
Happy birthday! Shawn was right to tell you to get back in the car! Moose are definitely not harmless; especially if they think thier baby is in danger!
Sounds like you are going to have a great time!
[Reply]
Have a great time. I’ll miss you.
Keep your thongs hung up high
[Reply]
Have a blast!
[Reply]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY! Oooh, I love birthdays. I will bake a cake and eat it in your honour; in addition I will drink a bottle of wine! Wheeeee! Cheers!
[Reply]
Enjoy!
[Reply]
Oh happy (early?) birthday, friend! I hope you have a superawesomefantastic pilgrimage. You deserve a break, kiddo. xoxo
[Reply]
Happy Happy Birthday! 25 is a marvelous year! And kudos to you for camping — for 9 freaking days. Good lord, woman. I can’t camp for 1 day! ENJOY yourself. You deserve it.
[Reply]
Sorry folks. Park’s closed. Moose outside shoulda told ya.
Happy Birthday.
[Reply]
Have fun and Happy Birthday! Keep your peaches safe.
[Reply]
Happy HAPPY Birthday my sweet friend. Enjoy! LOVE you and LOVE your beautiful blog. XOXOs
[Reply]
You are a brave woman. Nature, blech! Happy Birthday!
[Reply]
Hope you have a great time! And Happy Birthday
[Reply]
Happy Birthday Girlfriend! Camping for mommy’s birthday…hmmm…i’d prefer to send everyone else camping and stay home. lol taking pictures of mooses, you got balls girl.
[Reply]
Yay! I love to camp! Happy birthday! I hope you have a blast!
[Reply]
Vacation, have a wonderful time, Kim.
Rest, relax, smile, laugh: remember how much your family loves you.
Happy birthday, beautiful woman: and look at choo! in those itty bitty shorts I could use for a tissue.
xo
[Reply]
Happy birthday!
And camping!
And wine-ing!
And naughty-bits-ing!
Oh wait, that’s not you.
xo
[Reply]
I hope you are enjoying your time with the free roaming beavers…
[Reply]
Happy Birthday! And have fun!
[Reply]
And here I was thinking, oh what a sweet post about vacationing in the f*cking wilderness. And then you made me pull a muscle laughing so hard about doing the nasty all over the house. Here’s hoping the squirrels don’t eat your toes off.
[Reply]