No one warned me about the “look back”
The second day of school, I watched as the teacher had to pull my son into class.
The third day of school, the teacher had to pull me out of class when Chunky did ugly wail with snot pouring into his nose.
The fourth day of school, he stomped his feet and shouted that he hated it, grabbed onto my leg for dear life.
The teacher approached us and said, “Mom, just go. Just walk away. It hurts. I’ve had four of them so I understand. You just need to drop him off and trust us. We’ll do the best we can at comforting him. Just walk away.”
I knelt down beside him and told him that he was going to have a better day.
I wiped the tears from his rosy cheeks and pressed my hand over his heart.
I promised him that no matter where I am, I will always be right in there.
I also promised him full access to Daddy’s Hot Wheels collection.
His sobs slowed just enough for him to catch his breath.
The teacher put her hand on my shoulder and said, “Time to go Mom.”
I leaned in, gave him a kiss and said, “I love you. You are going to do really good today.”
I guided him to the line up.
He anxiously clasped the straps on his backpack and then he marched into the school without being dragged.
And just like the teacher told me I walked away.
I didn’t hear him crying so I turned to see how he made it.
That’s where it went wrong.
Chunky looked back at the same time as me.
We locked eyes.
He stared right into my soul.
“Yea, you enjoy your fucking pumpkin spice latte and ginger molasses cookie at Starbucks. Don’t mind me, I’ll be here for 6 hours slaving away playing airplanes and trying not to cry when I ask the teacher to let me go home and she says that I can’t. She works me to the bone Momma. The bone. You think this is fun? I’m sure you do. You have no idea about the things that go on in there. Like story time. I’ve read those books already. PS. You pack too much fruit. Does it look like I’m constipated? Do you want me to have to take a poop at school? You’ve scarred me for life. Life Momma.”
Then he cried.
I turned quickly and walked away with the dead weight of guilt resting heavily on my shoulders as his screams echoed down the street.
Then I made out with Starbucks.
It made me feel better.
Until I had heartburn.
I’m fairly certain that while the other kids are busy spreading germs, Chunky is performing voodoo with the creepy doll with the yarn hair.
So to all of you Mom’s out there who are having a hard time getting your child to go to school, drop your kid off and just walk away.
Don’t do the “look back”.
You’ll thank me later.
::How long did it take for your child to transition into school?
::Do you have any tips you’d like to share?
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