When you fall in love with a blogger you will book mark her site.
You will look forward to her posts in the morning while sipping coffee…
You will yell at your child to wipe his own butt because you’re reading something special…
…and he’ll come out of the bathroom naked with a wad of toilet paper between his cheeks…
…and you’ll contemplate telling him to go lay in the tub until your done reading…
Because her words move you…
…to run to the bathroom before you wet your pants because she’s hilarious…
…or to search for some tissues…
…only you’d rather just sit there in awe and let her words sink into your heart…
…so you use your sleeve…
…and then your husband will walk in and call you a freak because he doesn’t understand…
You will want to reach your arms out and give her a squeeze because you have walked in her shoes.
You know the pain of postpartum depression.
You also know the devestation of being diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder.
You will want to tell her she’s not alone and that you’re there to support and encourage her on her way to wellness.
But you will be too nervous to comment so you’ll creep her page for a while.
Kind of like a pervert in the bushes.
Only you don’t have a mustache.
And you don’t heavy breathe.
Unless you have asthma.
I don’t.
Then one day you will get the courage to leave a comment.
And then immediately regret throwing in the word vagina…
…and then she visits your blog and leaves a comment with the word peen…
…and “my little poodle”…
…and you know that she gets you…
…completely.
You’ll begin to follow each other on Twitter…
…and you’ll tweet every day…
…about important things…
…like herpes…
…and diarrhea…
…and street walking…
…and the state of your husbands underwear…
You’ll soon trust that she’s not a bald man and you’ll add her to Facebook…
…and then you realize that she lives close…
You’ll exchange phone numbers…
…and you’ll text each other every day.
She will hold your hand when you fall…
…and you will hold hers.
You will tell her to draw monkeys flinging poop when she’s having a rough day…
…and she will…
…and you will draw her a monkey in speedos…
…and she will send you gorgeous flowers after you have surgery.
Then one day you recieve an invitation in the mail…
…a face to face meeting…
…a very special one.
You will feel so honoured and excited and nervous all at once…
…and you’ll cry…
…and your husband will shake his head because he doesn’t understand…
…and books the hotel anyways.
You will drive 5 hours…
You will get ready in record speed so you can get a good seat.
You will fidget and feel your heart pound.
And then you see her…
…for the first time.
She is just as beautiful as you imagined…
…and you will cry.
Because this is the woman behind the words…
…behind the heart…
…behind the giggles…
…behind the fight…
…behind your fight…
You will see her love for her husband and her sweet daughter glow in her smile.
And you will feel so honoured to witness this moment in her life.
And when she spots you in the crowd, you’ll see her eyes widen…
And you restrain yourself from jumping out of your seat…
…so you wave instead…
…and your husband will call you an asshole because “Like she’s going to wave back to you”
You’ll patiently wait for her in the banquet hall…
…and you’ll secretly want to rip her from her bubble blowing Aunt’s grip…
…because you’ve waited so long to meet her…
…and then she turns.
You’ll both collide into each other…
…and you worry about fucking up her hair…
…and awkwardly touching her breasts…
…and you cry…
…you just cry…
…and you squeeze her until your arms go numb…
…and you’ll realize that you are holding your rock that’s been there through your struggles…
…and you’ll want to cry some more…
…but you don’t want to get mascara on her dress…
…and then her husband will yell at her to get food because she hadn’t eaten all day…
When you let each other go, she will turn to you and say…
“Look at my titts. My nipple is going to fling out any minute.”
And then you’ll say…
“Shawn looked at mine earlier and the gardener may have seen us.”
And then you’ll both laugh…
And then you’ll say that it’s like we’ve known each other forever….
…and I hope that we do…
Congrats Leighann and Brian and little miss SÂ on your special day.
I am so very blessed to call you my friend.
Let’s make out.
Xoxoxox
Oh how amazing that you two found each other and got to meet and Leighann got married and, and, and… so happy that you have each other and that I know you both. xo
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This reminds me of the connections we make oftentimes just casually, run of the mill “oh, hey, I like this blog”. And then it turns out to be more and wonderful and tit, shit, vagina, and penis-filled. Seriously, what’s better?
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So glad you two were able to meet. You both look so happy and beautiful in that photo! I’m sure she feels the exact same way about you.
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You are both amazing and I’m so glad you met. You’re meant to meet. xo
(Leighann, you’re beautiful!)
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Damn it. I’m kind of trying not to cry here because – well – you suck.
Beautiful words and beautiful pictures and I’m so glad you’ve connected and I’m so happy for her and I feel like shit this morning and this just made me so happy I’m crying in my tea, almost.
*sniffle *snot … Love to you both.
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My gosh I love your way with words.
Congrats all around.
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Oh, that’s so cool – I think we’re all looking for that kind of connection while we’re out here on the innerweb. I’m so glad you guys found each other and were able to get past the (sometimes) weirdness of meeting on the computer and make the transition to Real Life Friends.
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This post makes me all sorts of happy and tingly in the good places. Leighann is beautiful, and so is your friendship.
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I see the title of your latest blog and I immediately know that you are talking about me. Oops – shit – you were’t talking about me (how narcissistic), I know. One thing I don’t know is that I am pretty sure that I spelled narcissistic wrong. P.S. I am an English teacher, a sucky one at that, obviously. Anyway…your words have touched me more than you can possibly imagine. No one that I know – that includes my close family – knows what I am going through, but you do. You don’t even know me, but you speak to me. I absolutely love you. As a creepy dark mustached, in the bushes, with heavy breathing – without – asthma. JK about that part (or am I) except about the heaving breathing. I tend to have a problem with that when I am crying uncontrollably.
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I’m all teary eyed up here. That’s just amazing and wonderful. I am glad you two got to meet each other.
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Your description of seeing Leighann for the first time in the crowd was so intense, I had a nervous stomach myself! Sometimes magical friendships happen through the internet. I’m glad you and Leighann got to experience one.
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just read this post…and now I’m crying at work. i wish i could join in a hug too.
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Absolutely amazing who you can meet via social media. I’ve had a similar experience this week too!
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This is the best account of a blog-friend meeting I’ve ever read! I’m so happy for you two! (Oh, and, you know, also about the wedding…)
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How great that you were able to meet her in person!
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You are both amazing. I’m so glad you met. And how awesome that you got to share that moment. Love!
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You made me snort and tear up at the same time. Quite a gift
I’m feeling excited-pukeyness about meeting online people in real life at my first conference this fall. Should I avoid booby comments?
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How wonderful! What a wonderful, beautiful day!!!
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This is magic. So happy you got a chance to meet.
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I am full on ugly crying.
There was no awkwardness when we met. You were there as my friend and someone who gets me.
Someone I love.
I’m so grateful for your friendship and support. You’re being at my wedding made it ten times better!
And I so would have waved if I could guarantee my arms wouldn’t go into the Oprah arm jiggle.
I love you my friend.
And you’re hot ass.
Seriously.
Wow.
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Stop it you are making me cry!!! This post makes me so happy.
Annnnnd…guess who was at my place for coffee on Friday morning?!
No, not you. ‘cuz you won’t friggin’ come. I will get you here yet…I digress.
Celia! From Falling off a High Heeled Life. She is a.ma.zing!!
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Awe! Sweetest blogmance story I have ever read. You deserve that friendship and more. Cheers!
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Sweet story of a beautiful friendship, tissues please!
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awwww yay!
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So awesome to find a blog buddy that you can be friends with in real life.
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I love this. Love it! That’s what blogging is about! Connecting! Community! Friendships! Congrats to your blogging/IRL friend on her nuptials!
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Thank you for my cry of the day. xoxo
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So I just stumbled over here and now I’m totally stalking you.
Love this post, sweet and funny all rolled into one.
I’m at a different place Mommy-wise than you are; my youngest child just started middle school. Last year my oldest & only son graduated from high school. I cried for a week! So I understand your tears but from a totally different place.
OK, gotta go stalk some more.
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You both are so lucky to have found this friendship
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You guys are fantastic! Congratulations on your IRL friendship.
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That’s it; I’m moving to Canada.
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Kimberly Reply:
September 28th, 2012 at 5:54 pm
@Valerie, Come on up. The weather will freeze your nipples off but at least our poutines are glorious to eat. Poutine is french fries and gravy and cheese curds…not as in Poutine the vagina. That would be weird.
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I am so glad you met and that you have each other to lean on. You are both amazing. Truly. xo
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Kimberly Reply:
September 28th, 2012 at 5:40 pm
@Kimberly, We need another Kimberly in the mix. We can call ourselves K squared…or is that too 1990 for ya?
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How freaking sweet is this?!
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