The chilled air motivated me to put every ounce of energy I had into my legs.
It was Monday.
I don’t think that there is a single being in this world that likes Monday.
And if you are one of those people, I declare you freakier than Michael Jackson’s last nose.
At 7am, I moved the pillow off of my face and saw the sun’s rays peeking through the window above me.
As I laid there in bed, I kind of forgot how much I really hated fucking living.
And let me tell you, nothing breeds a false sense of optimism than waking up to sunshine.
It makes my depressed mind think of things that it normally wouldn’t think of.
Instead of the usual “I want to inch my car into the intersection”, I think of things like this:
Today is a new day.
Today is a new day.
You should consider brushing your teeth.
Remember you have cookies.
They don’t judge the size of your hole in the crotch of your PJ’s.
You know, crap like that.
Chunky and I ate breakfast while watching the squirrels dig holes in my garden.
He talked about how much he was going to miss me at school.
And I talked about how much I was going to miss him.
I’d say that it was a moment that Hallmark would consider writing about.
The sun is quite golden.
It warms up your soul.
Your dog is licking his nuts.
And your high fibre oatmeal looks like shit in a bowl.
Let me tell you another thing about sunshine in the morning, it causes you to misjudge how warm it really is outside.
By the time we stepped out the door to walk to school, I was only wearing a long sleeved shirt, jogging pants and a sports bra so thin you could see my nipple erection.
I can’t believe I just wrote that.
I held Chunky’s hand tightly while I dragged him to keep up the pace.
When we got to the school, Chunky put his hand out and said “Mom, can you give me your kiss?”
I leaned forward and kissed his hand then folded his fingers tightly over it.
“Don’t forget that Mom is always with you in that kiss**. If you’re sad or afraid or if you just miss me, put that kiss on your cheek.”
He grinned while sliding his hand back into his pocket.
“Momma, if you get sad for today, look in the sky.”
I looked up while shielding the sun from my eyes.
“Don’t be sad for today. It’s sunny out. It’s not raining. You can play in the backyard for today and it will make you laugh.”
He turned and got into line with all the other children, his over sized Angry Bird back pack giving me a chuckle, and walked into school.
I put on my sunglasses and decided to take the long way home.
I kicked leaves and laughed at how they reminded me of my thoughts.
But not lost in the dark today.
Today it is sunny.
I will try to not be sad for today.
**If your child is having a rough time going to school, I highly recommend you get the book “The Kissing Hand” by Audrey Penn. It has helped us tremendously. We do this every day. This is not a sponsored post. I was not asked to incorporate this into a post. I just really like this book and wanted to share it with all of you.