I leave a note in my son’s school lunch bag everyday.
The nurse led me down the hallway of the psychiatric unit. It was probably the first time I had ever left my room.
Nervous and excited at the same time, I followed the nurse as closely as I could without stepping on the backs of her heels.
“We don’t usually allow children under 16 on the floor,” she talked over her shoulder, “but we do make exceptions sometimes.”
We approached the heavy metal laden door. While she fumbled with a ring of keys, I tried to peek through the tiny glass window.
“Oh, here it is,” she said as she dangled the key in front of my face.
She unlocked the door and I saw them.
Chunky leaped out of Shawn’s lap.
“Momma! I miss you for today!”
I hurried over to him and wrapped him tightly with all of my might.
“Momma, I played with Robert today. I got this new book to read too.”
“Can I read it to you?” I asked.
He passed me a hard cover book about the solar system. He curled in his chair laying his head softly on my lap and I tickled his face just like I did at home.
Within a few minutes, he had fallen asleep.
When I looked up, Shawn’s chin was quivering as he held back tears.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a notepad.
“What’s this for?” I asked.
“For Chunky’s lunch.”
“You can write a note for him.”
“But I know that he would like your note because you won’t be around for a bit,” he said dabbing the tears from the corners of his eyes.
On the second day of school, I started writing him notes to give him a little cheer. I’ve been writing them everyday.
“I’m missing his big day tomorrow,” I muttered. “He’s the star of the day. I’m not going to see how excited his face will be.”
“You need to be here babe. There will be more days like this to come and you should look forward to them. You’d miss a whole lot more if you don’t get the help you need.”
My hand shook from the medication, but I was able to scribble out something legible.
“You’re going to sleep here?” he asked. “Well that is weird.”
We all started to chuckle.
That was the last time I saw him in 5 entire days.
Chunky brings home every note that I send with him.
I think I just might have to scrapbook the shit out of them.
::Do you write notes to your child?
::Do you do something special for your child when he/she goes to school?
Don’t forget, you can link up your confessions!