When your husband is a half breed, you will have to celebrate the American Thanksgiving.
You will have to pretend that you are so excited about the festivities involved.
Like hanging out with family.
You will have to remember to keep your comments to yourself.
Like “Where in the world did you even find a sweater like that?”
Because it will get misconstrued as being a compliment and that you want one just like it.
You will then get one just like it at Christmas.
You will have to wear it.
It would have been a clearer picture if Shawn wasn’t shaking so hard from all of his laughing.
And you will then visit a second hand store and buy one for your husband.
Because he loved your’s so much.
You will have to train your stomach.
Because your Mother In Law will kill an already dead turkey.
You will argue with your Father In Law that squirrels are not listed in the Canadian Food Guide.
You will turn down moonshine because you’re still drinking from the wine in a box.
That will be your goal of the night.
Your husband will be mad because your speech gets sloppy and you tell everyone that you love them.
But it will be true.
And you will be thankful that you have such a wonderful family.
Mullets, puffy sweaters, and mummified turkey and all.
Happy Thanksgiving ‘Merica.
*Ps. I just found out that my Mother In Law cooked the motherfucking turkey on Saturday. 5 days BEFORE Thanksgiving. I’m not going anywhere near that bird.
I remember your Thanksgiving post from last year
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!
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OMG….hilarious!!!!!
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That was too funny! Who the hell cooks the turkey 5 days ahead of time?????? good luck!
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Kim, you are wonderful.
Thank you, from ‘merica: we’re grateful for our Canadian beauty.
xo
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I am laughing so hard that it’s hard to type! Glad you can see the humour in it all.
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So funny – and so moving, what you expressed about your family -
And I think red is your color! (regarding the sweater) -
As far as your mother-in-law’s famous turkey – I’m not sure, but I think the ancient Egyptians could take up to 5 days to prepare and mummify the body – so BE CAREFUL!
Janet
xoxox
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‘Merica says we eat on Thursday and the turkey is continued to be eaten until it’s been used as a sammich, a macaroni salad, a tossed salad, fricaseed, boiled, whatever, till it’s gone (sometimes more than 5 days later). Give it a try, take some Immodium.
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I’m still struggling with the whole “make ahead bird” thing. Like, is she SO busy she couldn’t at least do it the DAY before? Fucking strange.
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You are so lucky you get to celebrate being thankful on 2 different days. And, ummm, why would she make the turkey a week early. That just sounds gross. Well, unless she is just having you make little tiny bite size sandwiches.
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Just trim off the green stuff Kim and it’ll be okay.
Love you! Enjoy your 2nd Turkey Day. I should be so lucky.
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This is exactly why I’m doing my best to get sick today. I’ve get the shudders when I think about that turkey.
And the sweaters? Only you can make those look so cute. (but couldn’t you have drawn the line at the pants? THOSE are hurting my eyes. And no, I wasn’t checking you out… after the first 2 minutes.)
MWAH!
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Sorry, what? What about the turkey? Because I’m laughing so hard about your red outfit there that I can barely type! Ahaaaaaaaa. OMG. That is the epitome of awesomesauce.
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What? The turkey? How can you cook something that far in advance and plan to feed it to people? What was she thinking? Reminds me of some kind of Griswold crap! Enjoy!!!
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OMG I’m gonna be laughing about you Mother-in-Law’s turkey for days. That sounds soooooo much like my family! Have a very Happy Thanksgiving, my sweet friend.
Just don’t eat the turkey. Fake a run to the store for more wine in a box, and stop by In-N-Out Burger. You’ll thank me later.
Love ya’s!
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while I stand behind my sister Arnebya , we do eat that turkey until it’s gone..BUT she could cook it Today or tomorrow.
that sweater is SEXY sister.I mean you look ANYTHING good…which is simply not fair.
xoxoo
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You can get sloppy speech with me anytime
America (and of COURSE I am allowed to speak for the whole country!) is thankful for you 
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Darlin’, that sweater is all you. *snort* But you two look good in matching tops.
Oh good Lord – tell her you’ve gone vegetarian this week – do NOT eat the turkey!!
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You are cracking me up with your pose, girl!
Hope you had a fun Thanksgiving tho
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Those sweaters are out of this world! I’d rather wear one than eat 5 day old turkey though!
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She cooked it FIVE DAYS before Thanksgiving??! Eeeeeek!
Happy Thanksgiving!
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So funny…5 days? Really? I’m just confused?
Hope your Thanksgiving was a great one!
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That sweater is awesome. I’m glad you got Shawn one. He deserves it.
And she made the turkey 5 days early???? Really??
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That color suits you!!!
Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
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Saturday? For seriously???
I wouldn’t go near that shit and I’m not just American, I’m SOUTHERN. That’s way worse.
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Oh my! You are stylin. So you crossed over and settled for a Merican, huh?
That turkey. eeks!
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ha! I love how you say your MIL will kill an already dead turkey! Too funny!
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For the record? Americans don’t drink moonshine. Rednecks do. That live in the Appalachians. Or at least that’s what I see on Moonshiners.
Are you wearing a onesie?!
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O.
M.
G.
Now this? This is fucking hilarious.
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Wait. It cam with matching pants?!?!?! Now *I* want a pair!!! LOL!
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