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Sure Feels Like Yesterday

Shawn reached down to the outlet and pulled the plug on our Christmas tree. The room immediately fell dark; a goodbye of sorts to a holiday and a New Year past.

I wrapped my arms around Shawn’s waist and rested my head on his chest. His heart beating always bringing comfort to my lost soul.

Me: It’s finally over.

Shawn: So is this the part where you start talking about sappy New Year shit and cry?

Me: No. I was just going to say that 2 in the morning on New Year’s Day feels a lot like any other day in any other year.

Shawn: Pretty much. Well except for that time when you went hypomanic and you bought stuff online that you don’t even remember buying. Oh and when you had your gallbladder sucked out of your body and you looked like skeletor. Oh and that time when you thought that the city workers were out to get you. That was kind of hilarious. Oh and when you were put in the hospital and got punched in the face. Yea, today is not like those days.

Me: Well today was a lot like 2 days ago.

Shawn: You had explosive diarrhea and slept 12 hours in the day. Actually, you’ve done that for the last 2 weeks.

Me: Damn it. All I’m trying to say here is that there really is no significance to a new year. Oh wait, new beginnings blah blah. It’s just a date. It doesn’t mean that you can leave that extra 40 pounds you packed on in 2012 behind.

Shawn: True. And crazy is definitely attached to your back like a cancerous mole.

Me: You’re a mole.

Shawn: Well we will just take it one day at a time like in 20…whatever years that sucked.

Me: All of them?

Shawn: I was going to say that but I was afraid you’d give me a crotch shot.

Me: I’m not expecting much of this year.

Shawn: Well that’s Debbie Downer-ish. Any resolutions?

Me: You know that I don’t make resolutions.

Shawn: I’ve made one for you.

Me: Really?

Shawn: I want you to stay out of the hospital this year.

Me: Well I want you to get a physical.

Shawn: She will put her fingers up my spider and roll my balls around in her hand.

Me: At least Dr. P has small lady fingers.

Shawn: You would know. I want you to keep all of your organs.

Me: I want you to make sure that your organ aims the pee in the toilet.

Shawn: I want you to clean your hair out of the shower.

Me: You’re going bald.

Shawn: So are you.

Me: The medication is making my hair fall out asshole.

Shawn: And what’s your excuse for not making me lasagna anymore?

Me: I do make good lasagna.

Shawn: I think I’m pretty drunk right now.

Me: You are. You’re not wearing any pants and we are staring out our front window.

Shawn: Well happy New Year babe. Let’s at least hope we can get through this year with some fucking pants on.

Me: And this is why I love you.

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  1. The one way I hope this year is like the last is that you never forget how to laugh. Love you and am so glad to see you writing.


  2. I definitely think you should stay out of the hospital. And laugh. And write. And, when the mood strikes you, wear pants. I hope the mood strikes you before your daily trips to Chunky’s school


  3. I hope you have made that man a lasagna within the last 2 weeks, he makes you laugh (and the rest of us, too.) Happy New Year!


  4. You two are hilarious. I swear I always feel like I’m right there in the room with y’all when you write these dialogues. Awesome!

    And staying out of the hospital and wearing pants both sound like reasonable resolutions to me!


  5. That was a really sweet post! Happy new year and put some pants on, will you!


  6. I love you two. I love how much you two love each other. Make him a lasagna, Kim. Get a physical, Shawn. The rest? Meh, who needs pants anyway. 😉


    I hope you both keep your organs.
    You really do shit a lot.


  8. Janet Janet

    Glad to see your blog today, as I feel like it’s been awhile and I was a little worried – sorry to hear you had a bout with the “runs” –

    I loved your New Year’s talk with Shawn – you two were meant for each other –

    Wishing you, Shawn and Chunky a very Happy New Year!



  9. So glad to see this post. With my colitis and my husband’s IBS, fart jokes and talking about the runs are commonplace in our house. I wish for you a year filled with laughter and happiness.


  10. I missed you, babe, and I was worried about you! I want you to keep all your organs, and stay out of the hospital, and most of all I hope Shawn stops peeing on the seat/floor. xoxoxo love you babe.


  11. Resolving to make it through the year with pants on is a good start :) You crack me up.


  12. How about a pants optional year? But an organs keeping definite one.


  13. Hi! New reader. Fellow bipolar two-ee. Sounds like you and your husband had a better new year than most: drunk, no pants, hugging, talking about the things that really matter in a marriage, like all the hair that’s plugging the drain. Funny blog. I’ll be back for more reading!


  14. OK, this is hilarious!
    How do you remember this stuff? I basically tune my hubby out most of the time.


  15. Oh Kim! You make me laugh out loud so much! Don’t ever lose your sense of humor! :)



  16. Y’all are like peas & carrots.
    Happy 2013!


  17. Haha, you guys are too funny! Love it! So good to see a post on your blog! I have missed reading over here :)


  18. This is so “A day in the life of …” Happy New Year to a fabulous person/couple/family.


  19. I love these little glimpses into your relationship. You guys are perfect. Happy New Year!! xoxo


  20. You two are too freakin funny! I love it.


  21. Sue Sue


    I am such a sucker for a good love story. Happy New Year, lovebirds.


  22. Oh my gosh, you guys crack me up.

    Spider… Bwhahahahahaha!!!!


  23. You guys are awesome! And really, aren’t pants over rated anyway? 😉


  24. You guys are so perfect together and I’m also stuck on the fact that you were up at 2 am. I didn’t even make it to midnight.


  25. Here’s to a happening 2013 for you. 2012 started out sucky for me but ended on a high. I know you can do it chica.


  26. And this is why I adore you both. *waves hi to hubby*

    Happy (late) New Year, Kim. Wishing you a beautiful ’13!


  27. Happy New Year, girl!

    So very much love to you. and to 2013!



  28. This is pretty much the best new years resolution conversation ever.


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