March 7, 2013
The moon is resting somewhere behind the dark night clouds leaving my neighbor’s patio light to help me see what I’m writing here.
I can hear my Dad’s stern voice saying, “You’re going to go blind.” Then I would scoot my rear end backwards 10 orange and brown squares printed in the carpet. When my Dad was out of sight, I would defiantly go back to 2 squares in front of the T.V.
I’ve used little white lies with Chunky. I really can’t think of any of them.
I went to Dr.B’s solo. Shawn had to get fitted for a new ankle brace.
I stopped just before the elevators to catch my breath. If I could have ran there, I would have. I have so much bloody energy bouncing off every inch of my innards. Stick a plug in my ass and I guarantee you that I could power our city’s lights.
I like being this way, but there is always a price to pay after it dissipates. Always.
I was surprised to see the waiting room packed. I took a seat in between a dude that had no regard for personal space. Arms, legs, and a kidney.
Next to him was a gentleman with Down Syndrome. He was all smiles. I watched as he leaned towards the dude and asked, “Am I just like you?”
He repeated this question about a hundred times before giving up. Dude never acknowledged him. I was so angry that I wanted to tell him, “Yes you are like any one of us. White, black, blue, yellow, brown, our insides are all the same except for this dick face without a soul.”
But I didn’t want to be everyone’s “A crazy patient went nuts in the psych’s office today” dinner conversation.
I have so much energy. It took digging my car key under my nail to keep me centered because the bitch next to me kept sighing. I get it. I’m fidgeting.
I can’t believe that I broke that key chain. Luckily I MacGyvered that shit and put humpty back together again. That key chain cost me something. I don’t remember. That’s how children’s sports rape your wallet. My kid is cute. He’s cute in hockey gear. I’m so proud of him. Oh you put him in a key chain? I am proud of him and he’s so cute. I need the key chain. Then bam. They’re all “you can’t have it unless you buy this, this and this.”
I bought Shawn a baseball bat.
He’s snoring so loud that bears are starting to line up at our front door for mating season.
I’d be his pimp and he would get paid in honey.
I wonder how much the average person eats honey.
I just checked. I think ours is old because it’s solid now. I may need to call in a pathologist to date this bitch.
Jesus, I need sleep.
Dr. B upped this and that.
I think my prognosis was “Oh boy” which I’m not sure if it’s high or low on the crazy richter scale.
He upped this and that and added wine.
I shouldn’t be drinking right now but nothing is working.
And it’s romantic sitting here on the floor. The furnace is seductively blowing my hair like Kelly Clarkson in her new video. I want her vocal chords.
I need sleep.
I need sleep.
I thought that I’d be knocked out by now since my pharmacist packaged my medicine in a huge paper lunch bag.
Nothing says you have problems like a medication lunch bag. It is hilarious.
My neighbor has her patio set out already. If it starts snowing I’m going to hop the fence and poop in her pool. Why people be all like “Oh it was 13 Celsius. Lets get out the shorts and lawn furniture.” She’s jinxing it.
I need to wash this window. The asshole’s wet nose prints are all over it. It looks like he licked it too. I guess I could do that tomorrow which is now today.
*I have no idea what’s going on. You probably don’t either. Here’s the start.