I apologize in advance if you have a passionate hate of reading 26 stupid facts about anyone.
A. Attached or single? The escapades of my vagina are none of your business.
B. Best Friend? Your Mom
C. Cake or pie? Preferably a cake without mullet hair in it. Don’t ask.
D. Day of choice? I’m unemployed…stay at home mom whatever you call it…all the days bleed into each other. I don’t even know what month it is.
E. Essential item? Birth control.
F. FavoUrite ColoUr: I just wanted to point out that in Canada, we throw the letter ”u” in random words. I wished that autocorrect and spellcheck weren’t so racist.
G. Gummy Bears or worms? My vet has a jar full of heartworms in his office.
H. Hometown? In a quiet quiet province there was a quiet quiet town.
And in that quiet quiet town, there was a quiet quiet neighborhood.
In that quiet quiet neighborhood, there was a quiet quite house.
We were the family that lived 3 doors down.
I. Favourite Indulgence? Acupuncture.
J. January or July? Well they both had bronchitis. The best child name that I have ever encountered while working as a pediatric ER nurse was Luscious Titts. Not kidding.
K. Kids? Ruin your garden and your thighs.
L. Life isn’t complete without? The two sheets of metal and a polyethylene core that holds my spine together.
M. Marriage date? 10 years this September. In dog years that’s too long.
N. Number of brothers/sisters? My mom dropped kids like it was hot. The last one fell out when I was 12.
O. Oranges or apples? Reminds me of that one time when my best friend and I chugged Growers Apple Cider because we wanted to make our town’s festival to celebrate strawberries more exciting and she ended up spraying her liver on someone’s lawn.
She never stopped walking or talking the entire time.
Never phased her or me.
This was actually a normal occurrence.
Life lesson#26: Underage livers = booze intolerance.
P. Phobias? Spiders, dentists, and dead people. I once offered my entire pay check to a co-worker to dispose a trauma patient.
Q. Quotes? 4 year old: Mom, I farted at school and Devon said that it smelled like popcorn.
R. Reasons to smile? That my boys are healthy and they do a great job taking care of me when I suck at life.
S. Season of choice? Cinnamon.
T. Tag 5 people: I’m about to tag a line of ants with my flip flop.
U: Unknown fact: 32B when I’m on my period.
V. Vegetable? I’ve never been in a coma so I don’t know what that would feel like.
W. Worst habit? Swearing on my blog. You’d be surprised to know that I don’t swear that much in real life.
Words like fat, ugly, stupid, and dumb are prohibited in our house.
Then why do I swear on the blog? Because what you read is straight from my uncensored brain.
X. Xray or Ultrasound? Last weekend I had an ultrasound of my ass crack.
Y. Favourite food? The ones where the main ingredients are high fructose corn syrup and love.
And baby cheeks.
Z. Zodiac sign? I’m a virgo. I share my birthday with my grandma.
I was tagged by my slewt in crime, Leighann. If you’re not reading her blog then you’re stupid because she is brilliant and my better half of funny. You’ll want to eat her first born. She’s adorable.
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