Somewhere between June and now, I decided that I needed to step away from here quietly. I was like that person who writes their name in those funeral “I was here books” and then sneaks out the back door without anyone noticing. I want to try that sometime. I have a serious phobia of dead bodies and awkward condolence hugs.
This doesn’t make sense. You see, I have funeral on the mind since Shawn’s uncle passed away and his mom sent me the “good” news through facebook.
I’m not kidding.
It’s the third one I think.
We pretended to not to get the message so that we didn’t have to attend the memorial service.
We are assholes like that.
I don’t really get the dynamics but basically he was a close friend of his grandpa’s. In the 9 years I’ve been married to Shawn, I’ve only met the guy once and ironically, it was at his wife’s funeral.
Death. Death. Death…where was I?…oh…My silent departure from the internet.
Summer has always been a giant kick to the soul crotch for me. My bipolar-ness flies off the handle (as if it ever was on a handle). My moods change with the seasons and they are completely backwards. You would think that I’d be happier than Lady Gaga wrapped up in a summer sausage casing filled with disgusting things (like your grandma’s underwear) during the summer months but it’s the latter.
I really hate it.
The ugly comes out and I shut down.
It’s a really boring tale. I’ll spare you that.
My brother had his baby at the beginning of August. He is the cutest thing with 2 perfect arms and 2 perfect legs and 10 fingers and 10 toes and a head of thunder black hair.
I call him Juan. The hair makes him look like a Mexican. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Not at all. It just means that there is still the possibility that my brother may not be the father.
But I love the kid already so it wouldn’t matter.
Chunky thinks he’s boring.
That’s a win for my vacant uterus.
Speaking of Chunky, he turned 5.
That’s a whole hand waved proudly in strangers faces who ask him how old he is but they don’t really give a shit.
I see you shaking your head in agreement.
I made this for his birthday.
If any one of you points out the fact that it looks like I created this drunk, you are correct. Kidding. I don’t like fondant so I did the cake in icing and the blocks in fondant. Who knew fondant was heavy?
And I made these too.
Old school Lego Head Cake Pops.
I also went on what some people may call a vacation.
I call it hell in a camper.
I’ll tell you all about that later.
Anyways, that’s what’s been going on.
I look forward to jumping back into your lives and secretly stalking you from your bushes.