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Stepping In Front Of My Words

My legs were uncomfortably tangled by blankets but I dared not to stir them and disrupt the sequential order of the pages laid on top of them. As painstakingly as it was to piece together my extracted crowded thoughts and form them into something a normal mind could chew, it was almost comical; a very tangible reflection of the chaos in my head.

It is so frustrating to leaf through all of these thoughts especially when I have no idea what I’m even looking for. It’s like standing in front of an overstuffed fridge on an empty stomach. All that food within your reach, and you can’t figure out what is going to satisfy your grumbling belly.

“Whatcha doing Momma?” he said as he forcefully flung himself at the foot of the bed. I squinted my eyes as the pieces of paper scattered.

“I’m writing,” I frustratingly said.

“Oh. Can I help?” he asked as he grabbed a pencil that had abandoned my makeshift office an hour ago.

He scribbled a string of numbers haphazardly across the page and asked me to make a man. I drew a primitive stick man and he laughed.

“What do all of these words say?”

“Well, it’s a note that I wrote for you a long while ago.”

“What did you write?”

“That I was proud of you. If it is good, I will get to share it with other people. I will get to read it on a stage .” I explained as a drew a microphone in the stick man’s hand.

The note of encouragement I wrote for him while in the hospital. I made Shawn put it in his lunch box for the next day
The note of encouragement I wrote for him while in the hospital. I made Shawn put it in his lunch box for the next day

“That’s silly,” he said, ” You can’t talk into a magic wand.”

I roared. He told me to close my eyes and when I was told to open them, I saw a purple heart. “This says that I love you and I made it with a butt and a triangle.” I kissed his forehead and he wiped it off. “I’m out of here,” he said as he quickly leapt off of the bed and ran down the hall.

I  spent a lot of time and tears on that note. Bits came from an actual letter that I wrote for him when I was in the hospital. They were written on sheets of lined paper because the nurses had confiscated my journal. The metal spiral binding was a safety concern since I was self harming to cope during a horrible time in my life.

Within a few days of its completion, I found myself sitting in front of my computer getting a crash course on google hangouts. When I figured how to work the microphone, I took a big breath and shared my story. I cried and I stumbled over words that got caught by my heart. A week later, Kimberly, the girl behind the words in this hub of the internet, became a cast member for Listen To Your Mother (Detroit).

Who may just be the first Canadian cast member.

I am beyond elated that I’m going to have this platform to touch the lives of women who are parenting with a mental illness, perhaps even breathe hope into their lungs that are starved of happy.

The women that I am so very blessed to accompany onstage in May, will pour our souls out to you.

We will tell you that “Hey Mom, yes you. We all laugh, cry, struggle, celebrate, and love our children fiercely except for that one time they drew Egyptian pictographs on your walls. We are beautifully imperfect and there is nothing wrong with that.”


If you are in the area, tickets are on sale. 10% of the proceeds will be going to a phenomenal cause, Alternatives For Girls


A huge thanks to Angela, Jessica, and Angela for choosing my letter to the guy who loves me no matter where my head may roam.


  1. Kim Kim

    This is so wonderful!! I wish I lived closer to Detroit – I would love to see you onstage! Your words are going to touch so many people and I know you will make them feel so much better about their own lives!!


    BRILLIANT. I tellya, they have some fucking FABULOUS bloggers on there. First I hear they chose Kristi, now YOU TOO!


    This is AMAZING and I’m so hugely, awfully a LOT proud of you 😀

    *cartwheels and dances and hollers*

  3. So happy for you, sweet friend!
    I can’t wait to see you on YouTube!

  4. I am SO proud of you.

  5. So amazing. So well deserved. Wish I could go.

  6. Janet Janet

    This is so wonderful, and I am so proud of you!

    Now you can help even more women –


  7. Please get a video for us to watch.

    The only thing better than you writing your words… is you speaking your words ((OUT LOUD))).

    Your ((VOICE)) must be heard!


  8. Woo hoo! This is amazing, Kimberly! Huge congrats here from us. You are going to do great and yes your voice will touch more people than you can possibly fathom. Soooo proud of you, our friend! 🙂

  9. I am so beyond proud of you. I could not EVER get in front of people and speak from such an emotional place in my heart. You ARE amazing. It’s not the stage, I was in theater for 15 years. It’s the emotions, it’s easy to be someone else, so much harder to be yourself. Your son is so lucky to have you despite the bumps in the road 😉

  10. You are going to be amazing up there, just like you are in this space. I’m so glad you took this risk and that you’re part of our first Michigan show. (And YES! first Canadian.)

  11. I am so incredibly proud of you. I have so many things I want to say to you but they’re all jumbled up in tears and happiness.
    And you can’t say happiness without penis.

  12. You’re going to rock this, mama. So so so proud and I love that you’re using a letter that you wrote while in the hospital. Love so much. Those starved of happy lungs are lucky to breath your words.

  13. I went to LTYM in San Francisco last year and it was an amazing experience, even as an audience member. I wish I could travel to see yours, but I’ll wait to enjoy it later via YouTube. You will rock this. I’m so proud of you for stepping in front of your words. You’re amazing.

  14. WOW! I am so freaking excited for you! This is fantastic news.

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