In my slice of Ontario, the weather rarely makes a gradual transition from one season to the next.
Winter turns into shorts and burns and armpit sweat and my neighbor’s clunky gold chain entangled in his thick Italian chest hair and if your eyes, heaven forbid, travel downwards, you will see his exposed man boobs.
Then summer turns into layers of clothes and blankets and fat, and frostbitten noses and spending an uncomfortably long time indoors with the people you love but will want to punch in the throat by the time you find yourself in a quandary over using shampoo or body wash on your legs because the hair got so unruly over the winter months.
I can’t stand the naysayers who curse the cold all winter long and then when mother nature delivers the heat they pray for the cold again. Not me. I like the heat. I could sit outside for ages. Even in the thick of trying times, the sun baring heat always seem to uplift my worn spirit.
People find it odd that my anxiety doesn’t have to be provoked by something earth shattering. It can be something as simple as a lost sock because your dog is an asshole. I find that I am getting better at recognizing when my stress is not proportional to the situation at hand and for those situations, I can step back and work through it. However, when the stress is out of my control, such as being dragged into fights that I don’t belong in, I have a hard time coping.
I am having a hard time coping.
I’ve been trying to keep busy instead of ruminating over a particular situation. I started doing things on top of things on top of things and nothing is getting accomplished. My thoughts are wildly racing and I feel lost among them. In my head there always seems to be that “one thing” that I’m supposed to remember to do but I can’t. Then I think that maybe that “one thing” isn’t a thing at all.
I’m frustrated, irritated, anxious, negative, and whatever else I can think of that sums up the feeling of “nuts”. So today, piss on all of the things I cannot remember and the things I should be doing.
It is summer in my neck of the woods and that means beer and “thighs stuck to plastic lawn chairs” sweat and my every day staple, anti-anxiety meds and this gorgeous sun.
Because screw anxiety.
What do you do to keep anxiety at bay when you cannot control the situation?
***My email is not working again (Yahoo you have one job). If your blog is listed on bloglovin, can you leave your address? I’m only receiving 25% of my emails a day and only a smidge of those are feeds from blogs.