Some people can pinpoint the exact moment when their life veered to the left of normal. For me, this was that moment.
I grew up in a quiet little town on a quiet little street.
On that quiet little street, there was this quiet little house.
We were the family that lived three doors down with the station wagon, that was held together by duct tape and prayer, parked in the driveway.
My mom and dad procreated five of us hellions. I am twelve years older than my youngest sibling. He won the lottery of birth order which meant that my parents hands were too chapped to slap him around for things like eye rolling and throwing pop cans at your sister’s face.
We hate to love each other and love to hate each other.
And I’m not embarrassed to call them my family.
I had big aspirations for my future when I was a kid. I wanted to be a Chinese waitress, a French news anchor with red lipstick, and a bank teller. When my mom told me that I was old enough to wipe my own butt, I had an epiphany.
I am not Chinese, je ne parle pas Francais, and I suck at math.
I became a pediatric ER nurse instead.
Before you go sending me pictures of your rashes, there is something that you should know.
I cannot diagnose you.
Just screwing with you.
It’s herpes and you only have 3 weeks to live.
One day, I met this guy named Shawn. He had big feet so I said, “I do” on September 20th, 2003.
Shawn is the cracker to my cheese and one hell of a spider killer.
We adopted an asshole dog that we named Champ. His likes are linoleum floors, plaster walls, dirty underwear, and socks.
Unlike our houseplants, we were successful in keeping him alive and God gave us the green light to make humans.
On August 14th, 2008, our son, “Chunky Monkey”, was born. He was orange, rocked a giant cone head, and absolutely perfect.
Even though he was just a little soul with big poops, he would be the one to save me from postpartum depression and anxiety.
He’s eight now and is pure awesome.
In 2011, I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder.
Together, my boys have guided me through the most darkest times of my life and held onto my hope when I lost it.
Their love saves me every single day.
My name is Kimberly.
I am a Canadian unfiltered bag of nuts with a hard on for Chuck Norris.
And this is my blog.
Welcome to the chaos.
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