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About Me

Some people can pinpoint the exact moment when their life veered to the left of normal. For me, this was that moment.

mullet

I had big aspirations for my future when I was a kid. I wanted to be a Chinese waitress, a French news anchor with red lipstick, and a bank teller.

But then my mom kindly pointed out to me that I was not:

  • Not Chinese
  • Je ne parle pas Francais
  • I suck at math

So I became a pediatric ER nurse instead.

Disclaimer: Before you go sending me pictures of your rashes, there is something that you should know. 

I cannot diagnose you.

Just kidding.

For $59.99 I’ll tell you anything.

Also kidding.

One day, I met this guy named Shawn. He had big feet so I said, “I do” on September 20th, 2003.

dee

Shawn is the cracker to my cheese and one hell of a spider killer.

We adopted a dog that we named Champ. His likes are linoleum floors, plaster walls, dirty underwear, and socks.

Champ

 

Unlike our houseplants, we were successful in keeping him alive and God gave us the green light to make humans.

In 2008, our son, “Chunky Monkey”, was born. He was orange, rocked a giant cone head, and absolutely perfect.

yellow baby

 

Even though he was just a little soul with big poops, he would be the one to save me from postpartum depression and anxiety.

He’s eight now and is pure awesome.

dryer1

In 2011, I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder.

Together, my boys have guided me through the most darkest times of my life and held onto my hope when I lost it.

Their love saves me every single day.

My name is Kimberly.

I am a Canadian unfiltered bag of nuts with an obsession for Chuck Norris.

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And this is my blog.

Welcome to the chaos.

 

If you would like to contact me, chit chat about that one time I survived a hurricane in Mexico, talk about parenting because motherhood makes you want to drink coffee and wine in abnormal amounts,  or maybe you just want to tell me a Chuck Norris joke…
I can be reached at
kimber_loo (at) yahoo(dot) ca 
I love hearing from my readers so don’t be shy!!!

 

 

I’m proud of:

Listed as SheKnows Canada’s Top 10 Mom Bloggers

Featured on Urban Times for Women’s Day

 


29 Comments

  1. Sandy Sandy

    Kimberly,

    I’ve taken heart from your blog! I have PPD, too. I also have a cyst on my ovary, and I’m really hoping the two are related, that fixing one will fix the other. I was thrilled to read that your doctor thinks there could be a connection. I’m on some medication for the PPD, which is very helpful, but I’m just not myself–and I miss myself. Good luck to you! I’ll keep you in my thoughts.

    • Hi Sandy,

      I can totally relate cause I’ve been missing myself too!! I never really understood it when people would say “I’ve lost myself” or “I’m trying to find myself”…I would think “How the heck could you lose yourself? Your mind’s not like a set of keys that you just lose!” but then I got hit with PPD and understand completely. It does get better, I promise you that. I see more of myself now than 19 months ago. But I think that motherhood whether you have PPD or not does change a woman….or so I’ve fooled myself to believe LOL!
      How long have you had PPD if you don’t mind me asking?
      Yes, the cyst thing sucks big time. I was kind of hoping that my cyst was large enough to surgically remove because I figured that it would solve all of my problems. But it’s not big enough to have it removed. My doctor put me back on birth control in hopes of shrinking it and to also tame my out of control moods around my period. My psychiatrist said that cysts can make hormones go out of whack. Is yours big?…Ok, that could be misconstrued as something inappropriate…I’m talking about the cyst…LOL. Are they doing anything for it? I had a very large one before and I had to have it removed. It was the size of an orange. Gross.

      Thanks again for swinging by…pull up a comfy chair and a coffee and stick around!!! I wish you all the best as well and keep me updated on your cyst and your PPD recovery! I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts as well.

      • Sandy Sandy

        Hi Kimberly,

        Thanks for your reply and kind words. I just found out today that my cyst is 7 inches–my doctor said the cyst was there but tiny when they did my C-section and that it’s much bigger now. I need an MRI to determine if there’s fatty tissue around it or not. Fatty tissue = surgery; No fatty tissue= “just keeping an eye on it.” Having been through 2 C-sections, I am no fan of surgery…but I kind of want the thing out of there. Unfortunately my doctor believes there’s no connection between the cyst and the PPD. I’m still hoping she’s somehow wrong, that this connection just hasn’t been researched thoroughly enough or that the connection is real despite being a fluke.

        My son (my second child, my second boy) was born June 23. PPD started hitting me sometime around October or so (his fourth month). He’s the sweetest, happiest baby. I had anxiety after my first son (almost 3 years old now) but nothing like this. So I guess it’s been about 5 months with PPD…3 months on medication. For some reason I’ve gotten worse recently, though, and my doctor upped my dosage from 10 mg to 20 mg. I was very uncomfortable about being a person on medication until I realized how much better it made me feel.

        I’ve been trying to be very reasonable about this and be okay with it happening…for now. It’s temporary. I’ll be better by his first birthday. (That’s the plan.) But I just read how long you’ve had it. I didn’t know it could last and last.

        Have you read Brooke Shields’ memoir? Her experience was very different from mine. I felt so bad for her.

        Take care.

      • Sandy,

        Please don’t be scared into thinking that you might have PPD for a long time like myself. I think that I was on the severe side of the PPD spectrum. I had anxiety so bad that I would experience derealization. It was like I was watching a movie from inside my head. Everything around me seemed fake. I would have to ask people if “this was really happening” because I thought that I was living in a dream. It was so terrifying. I also had severe agoraphobia. So looking back I am definitly way way way better than what I was. When I was switched to Effexor at a high dose I became hypomanic, which took a long time to recover from…so I’ve been through the ringer, but I am still standing.

        Everybody is different hon, so please don’t get discouraged when you read my story ok. You will make it through this!!! Like you said it is temporary….just like taking the meds is temporary. Taking them is nothing to be ashamed of. I know that I had a very difficult time starting meds because of the stigma I had, but I now know that I need them. That’s what their there for right?

        You have an amazing positive outlook, something of which I didn’t have in the early months with PPD and that is so fantastic. I am hoping that you are better by your son’s first birthday but just know that if you are not, then that’s ok too…I mean it’s not ok and it sucks but you will get better. I promise.

        I did read Brooke Shield’s book a while ago but I can’t really remember a whole lot of it as I also had a very difficult time focusing and sitting still. I do plan on reading it again. I do remember having a hard time relating to it at the time because she had a different experience than me…I do feel bad for her too.

        When will you be having the MRI? 7 inches sounds big. They can remove cysts through laproscopy which is way less invasive then when I had it the old fashion way (I had a c-section cut). I know that it’s still not very reassuring because surgery sucks no matter what. I would still like to think that the cyst does play a role in affecting our moods. I wonder if there is studies on that. Hmm…I’ll have to start looking. I just took my psychiatrist’s word for it. I like to blame my PPD on something…so I blame PPD on insemination from my husband (my sister in law had PPD too so we like to blame our husband’s side of the family for that) and I blame it on the cyst…cause there is NOTHING wrong with my genes…LOL!!!

        Anyways, keep me updated…I’ll be thinking of you!!!
        Hugs,
        Kimberly

  2. stressedmommalex stressedmommalex

    Thank you for your blog, I have felt so alone…I thought I was just stressed out and a terrible mother…your words really strike a chord with me. I have been on Effexor since the beginning of March, and I am really hoping to start to feel better soon…I don’t think it is working though, the anger and sadness are still there, though I am less anxious. How did you find a shrink? I am in Ontario, and my GP just gave me an Rx, a referral letter and I am waiting to speak with a social worker at the clinic…I don’t think I can wait until May to talk to someone.

    • I completely aggree that you shouldn’t have to wait so long to see a doctor. For me, I had to go to the ER in order to see my psychiatrist right away. I was referred by my OB so I didn’t actually pick him. I really like my psychiatrist and I feel very comfortable talking about very personal issues with him. I am not sure where abouts in Ontario you are from, but I can send you an email.

      It can take up to 6 weeks for a medication to reach it’s full effect. I know, waiting is the HARDEST part in all of this but hearing that you are feeling less anxious is a good sign. You still should be talking to someone though to help you through all of this. Do you see your GP regularly?

      I’m going to send you an email. You’re not alone in this!!

  3. Kimberly, take it from a Survivor Mama who has kicked PPD in the a$$….things will get better and you are going to appreciate EVERYTHING so much more. Hang in there!

  4. Hi Kimberly,
    I LOVE your BLOG!!! I have been captivated sitting here reading it half laughing and half crying. You are a fabulous writer!!! Any plans to write a book? I am going to write one about my experiences…maybe we can co-author!

    I had a miserable time with pregency and post postpartum. I related to so many things you wrote about…obsessed with breat feeding because it was the only maternal thing you could do (but hating every minute of it), not connecting with your baby, feeling like I was completely disconnected with everyone else, wanting to leave my husband and child, having horrible thoughts, hating myself, my life and being a mother…I could go on and on. I hid it well and went undiagnosed. My children are now 5 and 3 and I have tremedous guilt for not getting treatment. I went on for years feeling empty, angry, agitated and trapped. I still fight back tears whenever I see a mom all snuggly and loving with their baby. I rarely had these moments.

    I look back at baby pictures and it was if I wasn’t even there. I have no memory of who that woman was in those pictures. I completely lost myself. This many years later I still have bad days, but am mostly back to myself. I have a special place in my heart for moms who are struggling. Your blog is such a wonderful place for moms to visit. I am sure so many are reading it, finding comfort and connections. Thank you from all of us!!!!

    • Heather,
      This is why I blog…I do not want another Mom to suffer in silence because we don’t have to. We shouldn’t be afraid to get the help that we deserve. I am so so so sorry that you suffered in silence. That must have been so horrible for you. Gosh, I couldn’t even imagine that pain. Big hugs to you!!

      Thank you so much for your kind words (you had me blushing!!!).

  5. Oh Kimberly, this is so refreshing to read. I suffered from PPD & AD after the birth of my daughter and it almost killed me. I had such an amazing support network and some good doctors and that’s what got me through.

    Unfortuately I didn’t start my own blog until much after that difficult time. I can imagine it would have been a fantastic outlet. I also see the support I could have exposed myself to and been a part of.

    I’m glad I found you now and look forward to learning more about you and your blog!

    Much love,
    CM

    • Kimberly Kimberly

      @City Mom, Oh that is wonderful that you had all that support around you. I truly feel that having that support makes a world of a difference.
      I started writing because we had no support groups in our area. I figured that writing about my journey would help at least one mom…
      I’m glad that you found me and I found you!
      Hugs,
      Kim

  6. I wish I had *known* I had PPD! I’m glad you’re coming out (or have come out) the other side with your life & family intact. I’ve gone through some major changes since then and have even divorced, remarried, and have a new baby! No PPD this time, thank goodness!

    Anyway, good cause you’ve got going here. And I was introduced to you with your butt paste post. Love it! 🙂 I’ve had my husband use diaper ointment before. Hell, my mom has used it for other rashes. It is wonderful stuff!

    • Kimberly Kimberly

      @Momma Jorje, Oh I am so glad to hear that it didn’t impact you at all the next time around. So refreshing and encouraging to hear this since I hope to have more babies and I always worry about PPD striking again. Thanks so much for sharing this with me!

  7. You go, Kimberly! PPD IS real and it IS curable. Talking about it not only helps heal you, but it helps more moms than you’ll ever know (punching Tom Cruise in the face would really help, too). PPD may strike you again, but this time you will be prepared with knowledge and network of moms to support you. Make depression and anxiety your beeotch!

    • Kimberly Kimberly

      @Carri, Oh thank you so so SO much Carri. I’m making it my beeotch every day.

  8. I love your “About” page because it is so refreshing to
    read words from people who are so upfront and honest! It’s so great
    to find you and your blog!

  9. […] ans to Kimberly, my favorite potty-mouth PPD blogger. Find her at http://www.makemommygosomethingsomething.com and to the rest of the #ppdchat mamas. I love you […]

  10. […] Can Beat Up Your Blog Eileen from Calandro Clan Lindsay from With A Little Love and Luck Kim from Mom Go Something AddyeB from Butterfly Confessions This entry was posted in Uncategorized by jenna. Bookmark the […]

  11. Hey hey girl,

    Really, really great to meet your ass. Charlotte told me about you after I commented on a comment of yours on her blog and I just had to check your blog out.

    I’m Canadian too, I live just north of the city but I work downtown Monday to Friday. I look forward to getting to know you more and laughing at your twisted sense of humor.

    Ciao for now bella.
    Lindsay
    xo

    • Kimberly Kimberly

      Hey Lindsay!!

      Your comment cracked me up! I hope my ass doesn’t disappoint 🙂
      What city are you from?

      Swinging over to visit you (at your internet home not your real house — because I’m not creepy or anything)
      xox

  12. You super woman you! I love it, every bit of it. I’m only 3 years into parenthood with 14mth old twins and tornado toddler and after a hospital visit last year for PND it’s good to know that if I can be half has hilarious as this several years down the track I know I’ll be doing fine!

    • Kimberly Kimberly

      Oh Yasmin 🙂
      You certainly have your hands full my dear!
      Humour is my saving grace and make fun of myself on the daily. You are definitely not alone and you will be ok – despite whatever lies PND is telling you – you will be ok. Keep fighting. xoxox

  13. I was lovin’ everything about your blog and then discovered here you’re Canadian! That makes you super-special. Last year I visited Vancouver and Toronto; this Summer I’m riding my motorcycle back to Toronto to visit a blogger-friend who lives there (Suzanne). Everything I see from Canada makes me want to move there.

    • Kimberly Kimberly

      Oh Vancouver. I have not been to Vancouver since I was a teen but it is absolutely gorgeous there. Toronto is fabulous too. I just love walking around and getting lost in the streets. That’s awesome that you’re riding your motorcycle there! I don’t know where you’re coming from but if you have not seen Niagara Falls, it’s on the way. It would be well worth the pit stop on your adventures.

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