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2014 Canadian Weblog Awards nominee

Pink Coral Ring

What a surprise. It’s raining out again and our yard is flooded. If my dog didn’t have the “Bob Barker Special” when he was a mere 6 months of age, his testicles would be floating out there like two hairy beach balls.

rainyday

For the past ten minutes I’ve been watching this squirrel clung to the side of our tree. He hasn’t moved an inch. Poor thing must be so scared. Shawn says that it’s fake. He said that he saw our neighbor with the lawn ornament fixation hop the fence and nail it to our tree. She’s a strange one and I wouldn’t put it past her. She loves to decorate all the things.

Chunky found his way onto my lap and pressed the back of his big head into my collar bone. He may be six and at almost half my weight and as “tall as my boobs” but he still loves to cuddle. He usually fidgets with my jewelry especially the ring on my right hand.

It’s not a flashy ring but if you were to ask me how much it costs, I would tell you that it’s worth more than all of the rings in every jewelry store in the entire world. Set in the white gold band are seven small diamonds and in the center is a piece of beautiful pink coral cut in the shape of a heart.

And when the light catches it right, it sparkles just like how I remember the ocean did in Hawaii.

ring

He’ll ask me, “Who bought you this ring?” and I’ll laugh and say, “The most handsomest boy in the world. You!” Even though he’s heard a million times before, he’ll beg me to tell him the story of how I got the ring. He wriggles his bottom in place and listens intently….

The ring was my very first Mother’s Day present.

Now I don’t tell him this part of the story but I dreaded the day. I had postpartum depression and I felt that I was undeserving of such an occasion that celebrated wonderful loving doting mothers who baked shit from scratch and vacuum cleaned their driveways.

I was anything but.

I cancelled our BBQ that we held every single year for our moms but despite my wishes to remain isolated all day, my husband did drag me out of bed to hand me a small box.

The ring.

He had gone through a lot of trouble to get it. He went through our old photo albums from our honeymoon to find a picture of the jewelry shop that we had visited. He then contacted them and then ordered a ring. Since the ring contained a piece of coral, it could not travel across the Canadian border which meant he had to arrange for it to be ahem…..it found its way.

“You always talk about how happy you were on our honeymoon to Hawaii and had mentioned that you’d give anything to feel that way again. It’s a piece of coral from Hawaii. It’s your piece of happy.”

They also dragged me out to a park :)

They also dragged me out to a park :) circa 2009

Thing is, I’ve always had a big, huge, GIGANTIC piece of happy — the both of them.

But don’t let Shawn know.

I love the ring and I want to keep it.

 

He told me too that the ring was to remind me to keep fighting for my happy — I’ll always fight for them.

 

Mama’s Losin’ It
Prompt: Write a blog post inspired by the word: listen (listen to my story sweet one)

Throwback Netflix Style | #StreamTeam

Halloween became so much cooler when we had a kid because we got to dress up like our old school cartoon favourites like this:

mystery inc scared

And it was acceptable.

In fact, it was so acceptable that our friends were like, “Hey, can we play along?” and we were like, “Ummm, ok.”

scoobygang

But our kid was like, “You’re scaring me!”

scooby hates ghosts

When my husband was laid off from work, he stayed home with Chunky while I worked. He introduced him to all the cartoon classics like Scooby-Doo, Tom and Jerry, and Spiderman.  Often,  I would come home to find them both curled up on the couch and reruns would be playing. It was adorable.

Even though he’s bigger, not by much, he still enjoys watching those shows. I won’t lie, we still love watching them too even if the kid isn’t around. They never get old!

Neither do we apparently….

superseriousscooby

This month Netflix is going new school on our old school by rebooting our throwback classic cartoons like Popples (Oh. My. Gosh do you remember Popples? I had a pink one!) and The Magic School Bus.

Check out their list of must watch throwbacks below! I bet it will rekindle some fond memories!

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  1. MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC
  2. MARVEL’S ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN
  3. THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS

junenetflix2

  1. STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS
  2. GARFIELD & FRIENDS
  3. SCOOBY-DOO! MYSTERY INCORPORATED

junenetflix3

  1. THE CAT IN THE HAT
    KNOWS A LOT ABOUT THAT!
  2. THE SMURFS
  3. TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

 

If your weather has been anything like ours has been here in Ontario, rainy and gloomy — grab some popcorn, your kid and settle in for an afternoon of watching some throwback classics.

What was your favourite as a kid?

 

netflixstreamteam

After The Rain

Outside my bedroom window, the gutter drips. I can hear leaves and small twigs crackling as they readjust themselves into their former positions forcing the weight of the heavy rainwater to roll off and onto the sodden earth below. I imagine that the grass seed my husband had planted in place of the beautiful blue spruce tree he murdered without my consent, had washed away once more.

That’s what you get, I snort and then put my finger inside his open snoring mouth.

He grumbles and turns the other way.

I roll onto my back and lift the blinds to reveal the thick black sky.

When I was little, I thought that earth separated heaven and hell kind of like the layers in a sandwich. Heaven was way up there, beyond the rolling clouds and bright shinning stars and hell was down there, way down there. Like if I dug a hold to China, I’d still have to dig even further.

And if I did, my face would melt right off before I’d even get there.

I was terrified of hell because of what church and school had taught me so I strived to be a good little girl so that I could go to heaven when I died. I remember being perplexed however, that even though I was on my best behaviour (and when I wasn’t, I prayed for forgiveness), bad things still happened a lot.

It kind of felt like hell sometimes minus a sunburn.

Then I started to get it.

Hell wasn’t a place you go to when you die — it was right here.

Hell is the war within my head. All day it tortures me with negative thoughts and over exaggerated worries and then leaves me broken while the world peacefully sleeps.

I listen to the sounds of Shawn’s annoying choke-like breathing, the dog’s snores that sounds like a plane engine,  and the kid’s sleep “giggles”.

He actually fell asleep on my lap here. Poor kid was tired out after baseball.

He actually fell asleep on my lap here. Poor kid was tired out after baseball.

There’s the faint smell of peonies that I cut in my kitchen and I think about the fresh strawberries and ice cream and wine in the fridge.

These are the peonies I took from my grandma's garden and planted in mine 12 years ago. The blooms get bigger every year.

These are the peonies I took from my grandma’s garden and planted in mine 12 years ago. The blooms get bigger every year.

And while I think of good things, I try to think some more. I think of celebrating a certain child making the all-star team and watching many tournaments to come.

Me on the left on my high school softball team circa 1997. Chunky on the right last week.

Me on the left on my high school softball team circa 1997. Chunky on the right last week.

The birds are singing after all this bloody rain which means, there’s coffee to be had on the patio and I do not give a shit if my neighbor sees my underwear.

coffeeporch

Because I blame bidding adieu to old antidepressants last week and oh I get a pain infusion this week.

I know my life is good despite what “hell” is telling me because heaven is also right here.

It’s in all of those things.

listening

I don’t feel ok but I’m here.

Still fighting.

 

Ten Things of Thankful

Felt Like Home To Me

My grandma had always talked about how unfair time was and how it kept forcing me to grow. I remember her stomping her feet in the kitchen and shouting, “Stop it Kimbers! Stop growing up!” when I had successfully wrote my alphabet. I giggled because she was the one who taught me how.

“You’re getting old so fast and before I know it, you won’t want to come around any more,” she said as she reached in a banged up circle tin and pulled out handmade pinwheel cookies.

And I thought that was the silliest thing to say. My grandma was one of my most favourite people on the planet. So I made a promise to her that when I was all grown up, I was going to get my license and drive over to her house to visit every single day.

megrade1

Me circa 1987 after my mullet grew in – thanks mom

Growing happened just as fast as she said it would. There was kindergarten graduation, and first communion, and Brownies, and falling head over heels for a dreamy 6 year old boy named Darcy….and Chris but he picked his nose…and then Joe….and then Darcy again, and grades 1 to 5, and reading and writing, and sports, and girl guides, and science fairs, and grades 6 to 8, training bras, and Jeff a real boyfriend, and dances, published poems, and sleepovers, and graduation, and high school, and teens, and zits, and my period…

…and then I finally got my licence.

I didn’t visit her every day like I had promised, but when I would visit, she would excitedly motion for me to sit right next to her instead on one of the many beautiful pieces of antique loveseats and chairs she collected.  And she would get so close, like oh so close that I could feel the side her skinny thigh slowly getting wedged under mine.

The thermostat was always set at 100 degrees in their house regardless of what season it was.  I was sweating in places they don’t make deodorant commercials for but I didn’t care. Sitting next to her, it always felt like home to me.

mamie and me

At her and my grandpa’s 60th wedding anniversary in 2007

And as my son curls in my lap right now, I think of her.

I hope that I provide him with that same sense of safe and love that she did for me.

That even though time rips by us so quickly, I hope that my presence can make life stop during our visits when he’s older. That he never has to be afraid. That he never has to run. That he can always just be.

sofa

 

See, here’s the bloody, bloody truth
You will hurt and you will lose
I’ve got scars you won’t believe
Wear them proudly on my sleeve
I hope you’ll have the sense to know
That sadness comes and sadness goes
Love so hard and play life loud
It’s the only thing to give a damn about

But take the best of what I’ve got
And you know no matter what
Before you walk away, you know you can
Run, run, run,
Back to my arms, back to my arms
Run, run, run,
Back to my arms and they will hold you down

Run – P!NK

My Thankful is all the moments spent with my grandmother — the memories that I hold dear during these evil times — the peonies that I stole from her garden that are now growing in mine (they remind me of her every time they bloom) — for teaching me all the things — the morning snuggles with my son — when he seeks me out for comfort and when I’m able to comfort him —  when he holds my hand on our walks to school (he anchors me) — his promise to me that he’ll never move out of my house (ha!) — bare feet — books.

Ten Things of Thankful

Be Fearless. Be Strong. | Peacock & Lime Giveaway

No matter who you are, we all have those moments that we’d like to erase from our respective stories. You know, they’re the embarrassing ones like the time I was sedated for a procedure on my spine and I cursed at the anesthesiologist for getting iodine on my new sexy underwear. He kindly reminded me that I wasn’t wearing any and that if I touched my buttocks one more time they would have to restrain me.

Then there are the painful ones like that time my dog ran away and I blamed myself for his disappearance. I cried big crocodile tears as I waited at the back door for him every single night. It was many years later when I was in my 20’s that my dad revealed to me that he loathed the mangy mutt and had given it to a farmer.

Then there are break ups and losing loved ones and then there was the year 2012.

Physically, mentally, and emotionally — I was completely drained.

It was in May of that year, that I had just come out of surgery and I just received my brand new wish bracelet in the mail from Peacock & Lime . I have been ordering them ever since I had discovered Kristina’s store back in 2010. I thought to myself “Kim, this is it. This is a new beginning. Let’s start fresh” and so I made a wish and I put it on.

A day or two later, I started having complications from the surgery and had to go back in to the hospital. They initially thought that I had a blood clot in my lung, but thankfully, it was just a massive air pocket lodged in my diaphragm. It would be a few days before the gas would be absorbed, the surgeon had told me. Then she clipped my armband off…

…and the wish bracelet.

And I just busted out crying because that was the icing on my crap pie. The wish bracelet that represented me moving forward — and she snipped it off.

Forgive the quality of the photo. This was a crappy phone and was taken back in 2012 -- so back in the caveman era.

Forgive the quality of the photo. This was a crappy phone and was taken back in 2012 — so back in the caveman era.

Then I tweeted Kristina and she was just awesome.

She sent me a new one and let me tell you, there were tears of joy.

Again, 2012 crappy phone quality. No it did not come with the flowers :)

Again, 2012 crappy phone quality. No it did not come with the flowers :)

I absolutely love Kristina’s store and I’ve loved watching it evolve over the years. She’s always stayed a cut above the rest in my opinion. The pieces are stylish but because she gives them their own eclectic twist, you won’t be wearing something that someone else is.

It stands out like a piece of kick ass art.

P&C11

P&C2

 

P&C3

A lot of the jewelry items that I own have meanings behind them and Kristina also feels that way about jewelry that she creates. She says that her store is:

“…a brand consisting of handcrafted jewelry with intention, meaning & thought behind each piece. My aim is to design pieces that “speak” – that can share a secret, tell a story, seal a wish, give one strength, or be a reminder of dreams. A taste for stylishness and love for tiny treasures brings this intention to life.”

And she is doing that — especially with her hand stamped pieces.

Like this one.

Be Fearless. Be Strong.

PC10

I think about 2012.

I think of all the times I’ve struggled with my illness.

I think of anxiety and how much I fear.

And despite it — I am strong.

I am.

I wake up and I take on each day again and again and again and face my fears.

This necklace is a reminder

“Kim today, be fearless and be strong.”

Don’t we all need reminders sometimes?

I’m glad that Kristina is creating beautiful one of a kind pieces that do so.

And we can all use a little wish too?

pc8

I’m still banking on winning the lottery one day. I still haven’t bought a lottery ticket though. I think that’s my problem.

Kristina’s store, Peacock & Lime is proudly Canadian and is all handmade.

You can find Peacock & Lime at the following places:

Etsy Shop: www.peacockandlime.etsy.com
Website: www.peacockandlime.com
Blog: www.peacockandlime.wordpress.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/peacockandlime
Twitter: https://twitter.com/peacockandlime
Instagram: www.instagram.com/peacockandlime

 

***Giveaway***

But wait….remember I told you that Kristina was super awesome? Well she wants to give one of you a Be Fearless. Be Strong. necklace pictured below.

peacockandlimegiveaway

 

The chain length measures approximately 26″ with an added 1 3/4″ dangle focal pendant. This necklace design was recently submitted for consideration for use on the television series “Chasing Life”.

An strengthening piece … this is a necklace that can be worn everyday – either on it’s own, or with others for a layered effect.

Agate is considered to give courage, emotional strength, self-confidence, and dispel fears.
It is thought to empower and give the strength to be fearless and follow your dreams no matter how far away they appear.

 

Giveaway is open to US and Canadian residents only. Good luck

 

 

Disclaimer: I received a Be Fearless. Be Strong. necklace in exchange for this review and giveaway. All opinions are my own.

 

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