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You Can Play Dirty And Still Live Clean

I never knew how dirty the world was until I had a boy.

Circa 2012

Circa 2012

At the end of his day there is always dirt under his nails, in between his cubby fingers, on his cheeks, his elbows, and sometimes in his ear canals and in the sticky creases of neck.

Why?

How?

And I can only come to the conclusion that it’s all because he. is. a. BOY.

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If there is a mess to be had, he will find it and make it happen. Needless to say, bath times aren’t just a nightly occurrence. They are an “any time during the day the filth exceeds the kid’s exposed body surface area occurrence”.  I’m telling you, this kid gets more spa days than I’ve had in my entire 30 something years of life.

Even though he’s a rough and tumble kid, his skin still deserves extra gentle care. We opt for products that are mild and chemical free which is not only good for him but good for our environment. This is why we are loving Live Clean Kids.

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Live Clean, a proudly Canadian brand, launched four new eco-friendly, plant based shampoos, body washes and liquid hand soaps just for kids: Tropical Body + Hair Wash, Tropical Foaming Hand Soap, Mixed Berry Body + Hair Wash and Mixed Berry Foaming Hand Soap.

Live Clean contains no harsh cleansing agents, additives or preservatives – that means they are paraben free, SLS/sulfate free, phthalate free, petroleum free, dye free, hypoallergenic, pH balanced and Vegan.

Enriched with extracts like organic orange, kiwi, mango, strawberry, blueberry, and raspberry, Live Clean kids products are explosively fragrant and lather really well with just a small amount – something you wouldn’t expect with a naturally derived cleansing product!

The body + hair washes, like the Tropical Body + Hair Wash, contain rich coconut oil, which left my son’s  skin feeling soft and moisturized and his hair smooth, shiny, and slightly fragrant.

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My son absolutely loves the kid sized hand dispenser and I couldn’t figure out just why.

Oh that’s because he could make a mess.

A “clean” mess.

live clean hand wash

If you are concerned about the products you are applying to your child and the impact that they have on the environment, I do recommend trying Live Clean Kids. They also have a line for babies, adults, and even for the family pet!

Visit Live Clean website www.live-clean.com for more information on their eco-friendly products, where to purchase, tips on going green, and so much more.

 

***Giveaway***

Are you ready to get clean?

LC_Kids_groupshot

One lucky winner will receive a bottle of each: Tropical Body + Hair Wash, Tropical Foaming Hand Soap, Mixed Berry Body + Hair Wash and Mixed Berry Foaming Hand Soap

Giveaway open to CANADIAN RESIDENTS ONLY

 

Disclaimer: I received the above products for the purpose of this review. All opinions are my own.

This Isn’t Your Grandma’s Show | Grace and Frankie

From the executive producers Marta Kauffman (“Friends”) and Howard J Morris (“Home Improvement”), comes Netflix’s new Original Series Grace and Frankie, a hilarious and heartbreaking that takes on aging with gusto — definitely not what you would expect when you think of 70 year old women.

And I kind of love it.

Grace and frankie

Jane Fonda (“Grace”) and Lily Tomlin (“Frankie”) star as two spouses left by their husbands, who announce suddenly in the middle of a crowded restaurant that they are both gay and in love with each other.  As their lives are turned upside down, the uptight beauty queen Grace and the hippie Frankie find themselves forced together in an unlikely friendship.

Fonda and Tomlin are the perfect “odd couple” pairing for the leads but to be honest, I was a little worried that I wouldn’t like the show given that they were starring in it — that it would be too preoccupied with the “older” lifestyle and a “Golden Girl” sitcom show feel. I know, I feel bad for saying it but it’s true. From the very first scene though,  that was not a factor. They not only brought the funny but incredible talent.

It’s not your typical sitcom show that you’d be expecting from the producers of the hit shows of “Friends” and “Home Improvement”. The plot wasn’t drowned in knee slapping one-liners that were thrown out one after the other which was actually quite refreshing. It allowed the story to unfold and kept me intrigued the entire episode (or three).

The series also stars Martin Sheen and Sam Waterston, along with Brooklyn Decker, Ethan Embry, Baron Vaughn, and June Diane Raphael.

All thirteen (13) episodes of the series will begin streaming on Friday, May 8 2015 exclusively on Netflix.

 

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Disclosure: I am a member of the Netflix #StreamTeam and received a one-year subscription to Netflix in return for posting Netflix updates and reviews, however, all opinions are my own.

Staying Hydrated This Summer With Brita On The Go

I would be lying if I said that I didn’t get a bit emotional when I washed my son’s blue hockey jersey for the last time.

My little #46.

Yes, all of those ridiculously early weekend mornings of rushing to eat breakfast, searching for the “other” missing glove, begging him to empty his bladder BEFORE stuffing him into layers of hockey gear, then taking OFF the hockey gear because why didn’t I ask him if he had to poop?, putting the hockey gear back ON which at this point was just as fun as dressing up a limp noodle, and then driving all the way to the arena to freeze my derrière on hard plastic seats, were all done and over with now.

So understandably, I felt a little like this:

I have a reason bitches. Back up. I got this.

Then my husband said, “Honey, don’t pack that up! He starts spring hockey next weekend. Every Friday and Saturday!”

We were all really confused when the grass turned green and we were headed to the arena instead of playing outside like NORMAL people

We were all really confused when the grass turned green and we were headed to the arena instead of playing outside like NORMAL people

 

Then my husband said, “Honey, guess what?” and he slapped a Rookie Ball schedule on the fridge that looked like this:

 

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Even better…he pulled out not just one BLUE UNIFORM but two uniforms:

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…Coach and player.

Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays! Oh my! What a busy spring and summer schedule this is going to be!

But that is what life is like for a mom isn’t it? Always on the go, go, go. I know that when I’m stuck in “mom” mode, I tend to forget the one thing that is so important to help get me through my day, and no it’s not coffee.

It’s water.

Every part of your body relies on water to function and it is recommended that we drink 8-12 glasses of it a day. Are you drinking that much? It may seem like an impossible feat especially when you are an on-the-go mom like myself. Who has time to run to a tap and keep refilling a glass or a bottle with water?

Now with Brita® new 1L bottle, you can be sure to have your water conveniently on hand with you at all times.

 

Brita 1L Chevron hard sided filtered bottle (unlabelled)

The Brita® Bottle is a reusable water bottle with a built in filtration system that can remove up to 97% of common impurities that are found in tap water like chlorine, leaving you with healthier and great-tasting water!

From the moment my day started at (grumble, grumble) 6:15am to the time it ended, I took my bottle every where I went — except the bathroom because ewwwww.

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Brita® also has launched new designs for their Sport and 700ml hard sided bottle.

Brita dark turquoise Sport filtered bottle (unlabelled)

Brita blue and flower patterned hard sided filtered  bottle(unlabelled)

Yes! My little guy uses his while playing ball and even takes it to school!

And would you look at that…

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…it’s blue.

 

You can find out more about Brita® and its amazing water filtration systems at http://brita.ca/

****GIVEAWAY****

 

Are you ready to get hydrated? Brita® is giving away one lucky reader a 1L bottle!

Enter the Giveaway below

CANADIAN RESIDENTS ONLY!

*Disclaimer: I received the above products in exchange for this review and giveaway. All opinions are my own.

 

Ain’t Got Time For Crust

I used to spend an arduous 45 minutes or more making my son’s lunch for school. I’d meticulously thumb through grapes and toss out the ones with discoloured brown rings where the stems used to be, and I’d pick through the animal crackers making sure each one was perfectly intact. There wasn’t a lion without a head or a camel without a hump or a fruit or a vegetable with a single bruise.

I did this all because I received a note from his JK teacher:

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Now I know what you’re thinking. You went through all that hassle because of a note? That’s the silliest thing I’ve heard. True. But when you have anxiety, your brain jumps to conclusions, rather, it cannon balls right in to them like a boss.

So when your brain read something like:

“Blah blah I’m being a picky dick teacher.”

My anxious brain read:

“So you like to feed your son kryptonite?”

Or:

noteteacher2

And I can’t forget to point out that the note wasn’t even addressed to me. Upon that discovery I knew, I just knew that the teacher had no confidence in my parenting abilities whatsoever. So really, it read more like this:

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I slept zero winks that night as the anxiety overanalyzed and exaggerated that note until I believed that the contents in his lunch box reflected who I am as his mom.

Since his lunch was “flagged” I had to be mindful of other things. So starting that morning the clothes that he wore to school were stain free and wrinkle free, the Velcro on his shoes didn’t have a speck of lint attached to them, and I made sure that there was no dirt under his fingernails. Anything less than perfect meant that I wasn’t and I wasn’t going to give the teacher a reason to call children’s aide.

She wasn’t taking my son away.

that escalated quickly

Oh I was terrified that she was going to take him away.

Every bloody day that lunch, that entire before school routine, was agonizing.  My heart would pound, my stomach would turn, my vision would distort, my breaths – short and rapid, my thoughts darted from one worry to the next “Did I stuff too many crackers in the container? If I stuffed to many in there, if he opens it, they may all shoot out at him and all over the floor. Then he will cry. Then the teacher will have to clean it. Then she’ll be pissed off. What if there’s too many in there and I bust some when I close the lid? Then there will be crumbs. He can’t eat crumbs. But if I don’t put enough in there, the crackers will bounce all over when he’s walking to school and they’ll crack and make crumbs. I should just pack grapes. What if he chokes on the skins?”

Total madness over a silly lunch.

I landed in the hospital that year but not just because of anxiety, but because I was also going through one of my worst episodes of depression.

I found that teacher’s note on the weekend. It was stuffed in one of my purses that I hadn’t used in a long time. I don’t know why I kept it. Perhaps as a reminder of how far I’ve come from that time…and yet, I haven’t.

Over these last 6+ months anxiety has dominated my existence and has morphed into a new beast – depersonalization.

I am beginning to wonder, do we every truly break free from our madness or are we always stuck with the crust?

chasenme

Our super sad Toronto Maple Leaf faces

I will say this though, that kid goes to school with crusts and he eats them if he wants to or not, the animal crackers have legs or not, fruits have bruises or not, yogurt containers have exploded, I’ve forgotten to pack spoons and forks and juice boxes…

…and he’s happily married, just skipped 3 reading levels, he’s in the math club, and loves his momma.

 

Your Hemorrhoids And My Epiphany

There are many times when I’ve felt like a real grown up like that one time when I was three years old and I spit in my dad’s face because he said I had to go to bed.

I was standing my ground. Giving it to the man. I wasn’t letting anyone boss me around.

It was totally bad ass.

Come to think of it, it was totally stupid and it was probably one of the very first bad life decisions I’ve ever made and one of the reasons why my hair never parted to the right.

Then there was that other time when I tried to make my mother in law’s chilli for my husband. You better believe that I was basking in my super domesticated wifeness while my husband took the first bite and then choked. I could’ve sworn that the half bottle of garlic powder I “dashed” in there had covered up the taste of burning.

I even did the “BAM” like Emeril Lagasse.

“BAM charcoal be gone!”

emeril

But there is one day in particular where I really truly felt like a grown up and that was the day that my brother will never let me live down.

You see, I was eighteen and in my first year of nursing school. I had met a boy and we were going to go on a date after my afternoon shift at the hospital.  My eyebrows needed some manicuring and I would have done it myself but since grade ten, I haven’t trusted myself with anything sharp near my face.

Exhibit A: Year book photo (circa 1996).

The tweezing only got worse from there. By the end of the year, I almost had no eyebrows. Don't I look all angelic in my catholic uniform though?

The tweezing only got worse from there. By the end of the year, I almost had no eyebrows. Don’t I look all angelic in my catholic uniform though?

So I had made my appointment to get them done prior to my shift.

On my way out the door, my little brother comes flying at me with his hand wrapped in his nasty sock.

“Kim, you have to help me. I’m dying.”

“Good luck with that. Send me the invitation to your funeral. I have an appointment.”

“I can see my fat.”

“What are you talking about?”

He removed his sock and showed me his middle finger that was spliced open from tip to palm.

“Well that definitely looks like herpes.”

“Do I need stitches?”

“Yes and I need to get my eyebrows waxed and go to my clinical rotation. Where’s mom? Mom? Ma?!”

“No one is home. You’re going to have to take me.”

::Record scratch::

Eyebrow appointment or brother?

Eyebrows or little innocent brother?

Sexy eyes for my date or brother getting gangrene?

Brother who shot me with a BB gun in the back —

“Get in the car,” I said.

And I drove to my eyebrow appointment.

And cancelled it.

And then drove to my mom’s work where I dropped him off because I seriously could not miss a clinical shift.

Nursing school owned me.

While I was there retelling my grand adventure to my fellow nursing students, one of the staff nurses on the floor chose me to give to give *Mrs. Jones a suppository. I was so super excited because the nurse picked me! All my colleagues scoffed because having just your mere existence acknowledged was something pretty rad.

I went in and introduced myself to *Mrs. Jones. Gave her the ummm….ins and outs of suppositories. I helped her roll on to her side.

I lifted her cheek.

And then I may or may not have gasped at what I just saw.

Hemorrhoids.

She had the worst case of hemorrhoids I had ever seen.

I couldn’t see the entry point.

Poor *Mrs Jones’s ass was all hanging out the back of her shirt, one cheek lifted and there I was, finger and suppository all lubed up and I was staring at her hemorrhoids in awe.

And it hit me.

I’m a grown woman doing grown up things.

I am a responsible adult.

Look at what I’ve accomplished.

I’m helping people.

“Is everything ok back there” *Mrs. Jones shouted.

“Did you put it in yet?”

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over your hemorrhoids,” I said.

Just kidding. I didn’t say that.

Why?

Because I’m an adult.

Still mature for my age

Still mature for my age (Circa 2012)

 

 

Mama’s Losin’ It
Prompt:  A moment you realized you were a grown up.

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