My sister had two birds when we were younger. One was yellow and the other one was blue. I cannot recall their names, but my sister had a hard love for those gross things.
She’d walk around the house with both of them in her clenched fists and would chase me with them. I was terrified. Their claws always looked ready to scratch the shit out of a face if they had the chance.
I won’t lie. I was a mean sister. I used to sing this song that I made especially for her. It was called “Nick’s a hippopotamus”. I’d break out the number any time we got into a heated argument or if I just wanted to be an asshole.
Most of the time, I was just being an asshole.
Even though she was four years younger than me, I never underestimated her revenge tactics. One day whilst sitting on the crapper, she broke into the bathroom and let one of the birds loose. I had to make the split decision of running out of there with poop on my ass or to just sit there and beg for her to come and get the damn thing.
I begged.
I can’t recall who it was that left the backdoor ajar one sunny summer day, but one was accidentally set free (I swear to baby Jesus that it was not me). My poor sister stayed out there calling to it and coaxing it with bread and birdseed. She was moments away from submitting a picture to the milk carton people when she asked me to help her find it. I knew it was gone.
“It hated you,” I chuckled.
She turned to me with such a hurt in her eyes and I immediately regretted what I said.
“Maybe it just needs some time to itself. Like a vacation. It’ll come back.”
It never did.
Sometimes when things get overwhelming and painful in my life, I picture that bird flying out that door without thinking twice about the consequences. Just fly far, far away from all the problems in my world. Be as free as an ugly house bird.
This past weekend, someone left the door open for all of us and we drove for refuge at the red cottage on the corner of a small town in the middle of nowhere.
I rolled down the window when the lake came into view.
“Mom! This smells fresh. The air smells fresh here!”
It actually smelled of wet pavement, dead leaves and fish but there was a definite shift in the oppressive feeling.
The atmosphere was inviting and ready for our laughter and smiles and the permission to think of only the moment our feet were going to be planted in.
And I did just that.
We were only gone for a few days, but it was enough time for it to nourish what our souls were starved of.
Sometimes that is all you need in order to get the enough strength to draw back your shoulders, straighten your spine, and to look right back into the face of chaos.
I can’t always ”fly” away from it, this I know for sure.
But always try hard to remember that it also can’t cage me forever.
I don’t know where my sister’s bird ended up flying to, but I hope that it felt free from its little birdie issues…
…for a short time…
…just before a hawk tore it to hell.
That’ll teach you to attack me on the toilet and for breaking my sister’s heart.
I looked at my reflection in the mirror and twirled in a circle to see my silver crushed velvet dress fan away from my very pale legs. I bounced up and down and swayed my head from left to right to make sure that the curls gathered on top of my head stayed where they were supposed to.
I felt beautiful and for the first time, I felt very grown up.
I was fourteen and headed to the Junior Formal.
My date and I met each other at the school which I didn’t find weird or tacky at all. We had an unspoken agreement that we’d save ourselves from parental embarrassment.
He was dressed in a suit with a silver tie to match my dress. He slid on a beautiful corsage of white roses and some purple bud things on my wrist. We held each other’s hands as we entered the school’s gym and looked smashing doing it.
We were escorted to the photographer and we had our pictures taken under a cheesy cascade of balloons and a backdrop splattered with paint. From there, we went to the dance floor.
Of course there was a slow song playing.
He pulled me in close and I lifted my arms to sling around his neck. Then I felt it.
Sweat.
After the song was done, I excused myself and went to the bathroom. I patted my armpits but no matter how many times I did that, the sweat kept coming. And the smell that came after…would have curled his sparse Italian chest hairs.
I was so embarrassed that I avoided my date most of the night. The next Monday after the formal, my date told everyone how I ditched him. I felt terrible.
And oh so angry at my antiperspirant.
At 32, I still have issues with armpit sweat. Yup, just totally got sexy on you.
I’ve tried numerous products to help keep it at bay and it has been very frustrating. This is why I was more than happy to be able to sample Lady Speed Stick* Power TM/MC.
Lady Speed Stick* Power TM/MC provides long lasting superior protection† to help women feel dry and unstoppably fresh, enabling them to handle any sweat inducing situations that they may encounter.
Lady Speed Stick* Power TM/MC is invisible and provides 24 hour protection. It is also availablein 4 different fragrances to keep you feeling fresh from morning to night.
† vs. 20% required sweat reduction effectiveness
See how women wearing Lady Speed Stick* antiperspirant stay cool when faced with awkward situations in the clip below!
I really love this product. It kept me dry without drying out my skin (some of the antiperspirants I have tried makes my skin dry and flakes off). The scents were refreshing and not overpowering which is another thing I look for in an antiperspirant. And the freshness did last. I didn’t care for the gel too much, although I have never been a fan of them to begin with. The solid glides on smooth and both of these antiperspirants are invisible which is a bonus during tank top season.
And if you head on over to SheBlogs Media contest page, you can enter for your chance to win one of 6 gift baskets.
The gift basket includes:
LSS FI Fruity Melon 45 g
LSS Stainguard Daringly Fresh 65g
LSS Power Cool Breeze 45 g
MSS Power Fresh 14 g
MSS Irish Spring Original Deo 92 g
To enter:
All you have to do is head on over to SheBlogs Media and comment on the post “What Makes You Sweat?”
Contest is open to Canadian Residents only and winners will be randomly chosen on May 31st 2013.
Good luck everyone!
*Disclaimer: I was provided with Lady Speed* Stick Power TM/MC in order to provide this review. This is a sponsored post and I was compensated by Colgate. All opinions are my own.
Did I tell you about the time when I ate a mouldy bagel?
No?
Lean in close.
This is a good one.
I was a naïve 18 year old chasing a dream when I signed up for nursing school. I felt so cool when I strutted in the classroom in my uniform with patches on the sleeves that proudly declared that I was indeed a nursing student and that I had no idea what I was doing. I took out my pen, opened my notebook to a brand new page and then surveyed the peeps that would soon become my partners in healing. Then she walked in.
Our professor.
“Do any of you have jobs?”
We all raised our hands.
“Well just so you know, this class comes first. We are going to make you eat, breathe and bleed nursing until the day you graduate. We pretty much own you. Got it?”
And she wasn’t lying.
For 3 years, my mind was a slave to millions of facts about the human body and how to fix it. I was both fascinated and completely overwhelmed by all that I was learning.
My parents said I lived like a robot just going through the motions. However, I would momentarily stop to educate them about the functions of the rib meat they were eating at dinner.
I lacked attentiveness towards normal activities of daily living which led to the great bagel incident.
It was around 3 in the morning when I decided to take a mini break from studying. I went into the kitchen, reached into the cupboard and pulled out a bagel, slathered it with cream cheese and took a bite.
It was awful.
And for some reason, instead of checking the bagel, I slopped more cream cheese on it.
I was about to take another bite when my stomach said, “Dear brain, I’m fairly certain that you’re about to make a poor life decision. Please. Stop.”
I looked down and the bagel had more fur than my sister has on her upper lip.
Sick right?
You’d be surprised that cream cheese and bagels remained and still remains one of my breakfast staples.
My favourite combination is a blueberry bagel and Philadelphia Strawberry Cream Cheese.
We use Philly cream cheese a lot. It’s so versatile. You can cook with it, bake with it, or eat it straight up on crackers. We always have it on hand.
I’m here today to tell you that Canada just opened it’s fridge doors to a new Kraft Philadelphia Cream Cheese product.
With Chocolate Philly you get the dairy goodness of Philly plus the deliciousness of pure milk chocolate – with half the sugar and calories (per 1 tbsp. serving) of the other guys.
Breakfast has never been this delicious.
Speaking of breakfast, have you ever had breakfast in bed?
If not (or if you have), Chocolate Philly has come up with a simple yet highly effective way to convince your guy/loved ones to serve you breakfast in bed. You work hard every day. So how about a delicious reward? In just 3 quick and easy steps, your loved one(s) could be serving you Chocolate Philly in bed. C’mon – you deserve it! By using the power of social media and some friendly peer pressure, breakfast in bed with Chocolate Philly can be yours. Here’s how it works:
• Just post a Facebook status update that says something like “If I get 20 Likes, my sweetie(s) are/is serving me Chocolate Philly in bed. Help a girl out! Thank you!”
• Your friends will start liking your post and put pressure on.
• When your guy/family serves you breakfast in bed with Chocolate Philly, take a photo and submit it to the Philadelphia Cream Cheese Canada Facebook page.
I would love for Shawn to show up in the morning like this:
And for more motivation, Chocolate Philly will roll out a coupon that can be downloaded from the Philly Facebook page on May 21st!
So do you think you’re mate/family will be up for this challenge?
Remember, it’s for yummy chocolate cream cheese!
*Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post through SheBlogs Media. All opinions are of my own.
My siblings say that’s debatable, but who got the broken down car in the driveway? Who? That was me.
We grew up in a well to do neighborhood. All the kids had the newest of the newest clothes, shoes, and gadgets, while we had hand-me-downs. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with hand-me-downs. It’s just that, we never owned something that was new and well, up to date.
Our first computer was a hand-me-down from my aunt. It was so large that my dad could have parked it in the garage. When you turned it on, you thought you were hearing a plane’s engines firing up.
Then
We
Got
The
Ring, ring.
“Mom don’t answer that!”
…lost connection
….installing
….connecting
Internet.
Oh that thing was so slow. It took a month to pull up one page.
My Dad refused to keep up with the times because he would sternly say, “We will buy one and then the following week it will be upgraded again. What’s the point?” In other words, he was basically saying, “I really don’t know how to work the computer and it has taken me 4 years to learn how to turn this one on and access the internet. I am scared of change.”
Seriously.
My friends got into things like messenger and I was always out of the loop. I had to remind them to call me when they made plans.
“Call you. You mean on the phone?”
The day I moved in with my husband, who had an equally hard time convincing his parents to upgrade, we went and got all the things technologically awesome.
Slim computer screen. Cable internet that blew our faces clear off by its speed.
It’s like we stepped into a whole new world.
As the years passed, technology has evolved.
Computers became so compact that you can fit in your pocket and you can basically take them where ever you go.
And just like the good old days, we couldn’t keep up with it’s forever changing pace.
We keep hearing friends talking about tablets and how wonderful they are. We ended up in a Staples one day for something totally unrelated to tablets when our son spotted them on a display case. We turned our backs on him for one second and sure enough, he had one pulled down and was busy navigating the screens…that had nothing but a protective shield on…but he thought he was emailing his girlfriend and ordering Legos.
We made our way over to his curious hands and began drooling over the tablets. A handsome young man came over and asked us if we wanted more information on them and of course, we did.
We didn’t purchase one but that tablet bug was implanted in our minds.
It is compact, sleek and unbelievably easy to use. The keypad is wide enough that my husband’s fat fingers can navigate. The screen is bright and the layout is very well organized. What is even better is that you can actually tell the tablet “Find this xyz” and it pulls it up. So amazing. My 4 year old gets a kick out of that.
I can read all my blogs with ease. The writing is large and you can make it larger if you want. I especially love the apps for WordPress, Bloglovin, Google+, and all of my other favourite social networks that I use for blogging.
Speaking of apps, they have a lot of them. My son has never been more excited to see his beloved Angry Birds on a big screen.
It is definitely more than just a tool for blogging. My husband is an avid fan of all things sports and he is able to get live streams of games. And you can also watch videos. The picture is crystal clear.
You can upload books and magazines for long road trips or for just sneaking away in your backyard.
You can upload music! And I can tell you that the sound comes out wonderfully.
This is what Staples has to say about this product:
At only 12 oz, Nexus 7 boasts all the premium features you need on the go, including a compact but crystal clear HD display, 1.2 megapixel camera, and both WiFi and bluetooth connectivity
Powered by Android 4.2, Jelly Bean, the latest version of the world’s most popular mobile platform (via over-the-air update)
Stunning 7-inch display, powerful quad-core processor, up to 10 hours of web browsing or e-reading, and a staggering 300 hours of standby time
With Google Play, all the entertainment you love is right in your hand: more than 700,000 apps and games, millions of eBooks and movies — all available without wires or syncing
With heart pounding quad-core performance and sensors like a gyroscope and accelerometer — do a barrel roll then tilt, touch and tap your way to the top of the leaderboards while exploring the growing selection of tablet optimized apps and games on Google Play
Comes with all of Google’s best in class Apps – like Maps, Gmail, Chrome, Google+ and YouTube
Ample free cloud storage, easy to use apps stay in sync automatically across your tablet, phone and PC
So if you’re in the market for a tablet, I would highly recommend this one. And you should head on over to Staples to talk to the experts about the right tablet for you. And they have a huge selection here.
Give it a whirl. They’re amazing.
Oh and hey, we are officially in the club!
Full disclosure: Staples.ca provided met with these items for review. The thoughts and opinions expressed are strictly my own. Feel free to shop their entire line of Tablets online.
I got all sentimental and crap when I started writing this post, then my mood went straight to hell.
I just read the post again and it sounded like one of those Facebook posts that your mother in law sends you. I’m sure that you know what I’m talking about.
Dear Kim and gang,
The weather here in Florida is absolutely gorgeous. We really wish that all of you were here. We miss you so much and can’t wait to see you all in May.
By the way, Shawn’s cousin died at 1:30 this morning. You should have heard the gurgling towards the end. Poor thing.
Anyways, give everyone a big squeeze from us.
Love yous xoxo
Facebook: the only way to break bad news in a non-awkward telephone call.
That’s how we found out that his grandma and his uncle had passed too.
Old people are dangerous with technology. A few weeks ago, my mom learned the art of texting. Lord help us all.
She will text me something like, “How was grandson’s school? (smiley face, winking face, big grin face, heart, wine glass)”
I’ll text her back and then 45 minutes later she responds with “LOL”. I’m fairly certain that it really did take her the entire 45 minutes just to find the caps button.
Jesus.
My youngest brother told me that if I gave our mom his number he would seriously choke me.
My mom and dad just moved into my grandma’s old house which is awesome since their fridge is only 5 minutes away.
Do you ever notice when you go to your parent’s house the fridge is the first thing you gravitate to?
“Oh this is a nice surprise Kimbers!”
“Yea, when was grocery day? Did you buy the soft oatmeal cookies?”
She always does.
When I moved out 10 years ago, “home” got a new address.
It’s where I became a real adult with real responsibilities and thinking how fucked up it was to have to buy my own toilet paper.
