Go on say it.
Did you smile?
How can you not smile when you say puppy?
My brothers rehearse this bit from a Chris Farley movie whenever anyone needs to be forcibly cheered up. Just imagine yourself at a funeral and three goofy grown men with horrible fake French accents begging you to say “puppeee”. You’d “shoosh” them I’d bet and then refuse because you’re mourning and it’s totally inappropriate, but when one asks you what kind of animal is grandma wearing in her casket you’d look over at her lying peacefully in her handpicked “ever after” outfit. You’d remember the times when she scoffed at the idea of “so-and-so” getting their greedy grubby hands on her beloved fur…
“It looks like she’s wearing a puppy.”
And you bust out laughing.
That really truly happened.
We are a special kind of family.
Saying puppy has actually become my thing. When I’m overly anxious I start repeating “puppy” over and over in my head. I know. I can’t believe I’m admitting that. It helps though and sometimes it makes me giggle out loud so if you see me smiling and laughing for no reason, I’m probably saying puppy or picturing you naked.
My anxiety has been overwhelming lately. For one, I ran out of my medicine while my doctor was on holiday and my pharmacist wouldn’t give me “just this much” to tie me over until he returned.
Long story short, when your pharmasict asks,”Do you really need this anyways?” do not mistaken it as a challenge. He is being an asshole and YES you NEED the medication.
You also need to find a creative way to hide that new dent in the wall.
And you need a new coffee mug.
Despite the anxiety, my blood pressure is still low. I went to have my lidocaine infusion for my chronic pain and my baseline pressure was 95/58.
It kept dropping as the infusion continued but I was so thankful for the lovely patients in the room who were so supportive.
“Well no wonder. Look at her! She’s nothing but skin and bones.”
“Do you eat dear? Are you eating enough?”
“You could wrap the blood pressure cuff around her waist for God’s sake.”
“If you pump that up any more, you’re going to snap her little chicken bone in two. Be gentle!”
Puppy. Puppy. Puppy. Puppy.
Heaven forbid that I pointed out the size of their waistlines. I was f*cking humiliated but yet I still smiled.
And of course I gloated about the ice cream and huge piece of cake with thick vanilla icing I was going to plow through when I was done with my infusion.
It was all a lie of course but f*ck them.
They have no idea.
My blood pressure started to come up after the infusion was stopped but my doctor didn’t feel comfortable carrying on with my paravertebral facet joint nerve blocks. So I was rescheduled for the second part in two weeks.
The infusion left me really dizzy and nauseous and in bed and sorry for myself and…
And Shawn has been working a lot and is working today and…
But this guy is here keeping me company and for that I’m very thankful…
And besides the word PUPPY! Music really pushes me out of these
moments days weeks months moments and I think this is a good weekend to update my iPod.
With that said, I’m thanking YOU for helping me with some song suggestions.
Go on…what song gets you in a good mood? gives you a good cry? makes you feel angsty?
What song speaks to you?
I’m loving this right now: